and as i walk into the room,
i see the faces turn away
i find a spot to settle in
and raise my glass to fading day.
the voices blend with every sip,
as one by one, the mem'ries wane
another glass, another toast
to keep my restless mind at bay
and as i walk into the room,
i watch the faces turn away
i find a spot to settle in
and raise a glass to fading day.
the snowy streets seem colder now,
than i remember them to be -
the city sighs a loneliness
that resonates inside of me.
and as i walk into the room,
i laugh, as faces turn away
i find a spot to settle in
and raise my glass to fading day.
when i look back on younger days
the boy i see could always smile,
when did this jaded, sorry man
replace that happy, carefree child?
and as i walk out of the room,
i hear their laughter fade away
i find my car, and start to drive
my mind a million miles away...
Author notes
Written December 6th, 2005
(option #5 - "solitary")
A contest entry
- SOLITARY by rainwalker.
450 points, ended April 29, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Excellent. I love the wonderful flow and rhythm this piece has, it pulls the reader very smoothly through. The idea of solitary being imposed by others, not necessarily actual physical isolation but being ignored or snubbed. Wonderful take on the prompt. My favorite stanza was:
"the snowy streets seem colder now,
than i remember them to be -
the city sighs a loneliness
that resonates inside of me."
simply beautiful imagery and alliteration, good use of poetic devices. Thank you for sharing this with us and good luck!
-Laura -
This is really fantastically written! You did a beautiful job! Kudos to you!
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Wow, I like this very much. I like the repetition, the (mostly) clean rhyme and meter. I don't find this a sad poem (not overly sad, anyway), because realizing you're not happy and carefree is the first step toward regaining them.
The form of the poem gives it more strength, to my mind, than a free verse effort on the same topic. This is one that I would point to as an illustration for how structure can be used to enhance, rather than take away from, spontanaeity and creativity. Very well done.
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Such a sad poem - so filled with melancholy and reflections about years gone by. Time passes so quickly and all of a sudden we're older than we remember being - liked this.
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Great write!!!! Absolutely beautiful. Very very powerful, quite possibly the most powerful poem I have ever read. "when did this jaded, sorry man replace that happy, carefree child" I completely feel that in my life. I am 22 and wish I was 8 again. I am just amazed, I read this multiple times. I am encouraging you too keep writing. If you stop writing you will be doing a diservice to all mankind.
David -
A somber mood and interesting writing...you might like the contest I have going right now called: Streetlights, Cigarettes and Cigars.
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very powerful, wow wat a gr8 piece of poetry well done
(if u got time pls read my poem 'woman in the mirror ' and tell me wat u think thanks)
well done
~peace and luv~
vanity1991
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