Fighting for a world's applause
Grasping at elusive straws
Of pretty is as pretty does
Drafty barrooms took their toll
Manic darlings on a roll
Dabble in the grim and gold
Until you shown in my behold
Grafted to a tree of life
Still in lonely beggar's strife
Until days forgot the night
Beneath blindness rose the sight
And so you touched me
Music to my empty words
Bringing warm September memories
Heart of whispers never heard
In the bask of indignation
You gave me the rope to hold
Daggers drained of low intention
Simple strains, our song unfolds
I walked in songs that had no sound
Was trampled on my hallowed ground
But in your arms my love was found
Becoming human till I drown
Wafting through oblivion
Before the fragrance of the sun
Reality, not wagging tongue
Honesty in brightness hung
And so you touched me
Music to my empty words
Bringing warm September memories
Heart of whispers never heard
In the bask of indignation
You gave me the rope to hold
Daggers drained of low intention
Simple strains, our song unfolds
Almost the song that never was
Fighting for a world's applause
Grasping at elusive straws
Of pretty is as pretty does
Star upon my darkest day
Breathed in me a dancer's sway
Can't stop loving you today
You music sings the words I say
Guitars sitting side by side
Strumming bass or treble slide
Into darkness, onto light
Tempting melody of flight
And so you touched me
Music to my empty words
Bringing warm September memories
Heart of whispers never heard
In the bask of indignation
You gave me the rope to hold
Daggers drained of low intention
Simple strains, our song unfolds
Author notes
AP Idol Mission 2. All comment and critique welcome. This is a song, but, as usual, I forwent the marking of chorus, bridge, verse and just layed it out as it is intended to flow. Minimal punctuation intended, but let me know if something could use a comma or dash that isn't at a line break if you feel it would improve rhythm or clarity. I will consider it
Until you shown in my behold -- the wording of this line is intended. It is a creative combination of --your light shown-- and --low and behold--.
Written December 6th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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wow,i really like this
i love the way you use words,it simply -
Very impressive! I love the way you can take pieces of thoughts and put them together like a mosaic that even a short-sighted individual such as myself can see. You have such flare and unique style when you write! I just love your songs. Good luck with this--think we've got a winner here! I wouldn't change a thing, not even the punctuation.
Sheryl -
I loved this, I knew soon as I saw the rhyme scheme in the chorus that it would be the chorus, lol...great job changin it up a bit, I should do that more, lol...but yea, awesome job, think ya got me beat for this round.
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awe this is so sweet. I love how your rhyme scheme was...it shows you have great talent!! Awesome work!!
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hey what can i say, i know nothing of writing songs but this has got some brilliant words in there alot of lines that could be sang along too i really liked it well done lol abigailxx
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Thanks so much for the comment. This was written for an elimination songwriting contest that I am taking part in, but I don't usually mark out versus, chorus, bridge etc when I post this type of lyric on the site because it makes for harder reading when I do. Had this been a normal poem, I would have probably done it a bit differently and probably eliminated some of the repeats. The first verse is actually a bridge of sorts, and you are right it has an abba rhyme scheme even in Texan.
We talk funny though. Was and does rhymes. We are very heavy on the uh sound here. And some of our words are spoken with extra syllables that don't exist in the english language
Here, oblivion is pronounced Uhbliveeyun. Probably a little more stressed on the last syllable than even in other parts of the country so the word sun is actually the rhyme. Lol, some of what you see here is the horrid Texas accent I have been --umm-- blessed with. Why did you guys get all the good accents? You know, in the US people will listen to someone say nothing for hours who has an Aussie or British accent because it just sounds sooooo nice.
Glad you stopped by and again, I very much appreciate the feedback. -
Well rhymed for the most part – although I have to adopt an accent to make ‘was’ and ‘applause’ rhyme – they don’t where I come from lol. I personally don’t like the ‘until you shown in my behold’ line – I think the tense confusion spoils the effect – but ‘until you show in my behold’ probably doesn’t combine the two parts…
I did like the counterpoint of the rhyme scheme – I was just beginning to think it was over rhymed and you changed the pattern – good timing! Although having said that – I found the unrhymed lines at ‘oblivion’ a little odd.
I like the running metaphor of the song and love – I tried to do the same thing with dance and love and failed miserably – so I know it is not easy. Well done.





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