(her vacuum cleaner test flight...)
( this is a collaboration between whispersoftly and wbiro )
Across the wide, pale Atlantic I flew, and the winds were deadly slow.
I eased my journey by passing the time imagining her British accent,
and realized that over there, I would have the accent,
one from a US city, bright lights, tall buildings… the only geography I knew,
now I am on my way to her English countryside...
She would say "Posh!", and in a mock Southern drawl I would reply, "Well, isn’t that special!”
Little did I know how many times we would say this while holding hands...
I reach the British Isles at last, and turn South by Southwest.
I arrive on time for tea, crumpets, and noodles. Terribly suburban!
She is wearing her nurse's uniform. I notice how well it fits,
how short it is, how nice what underneath must be like...
Engaged in creative writing,
she scrawls something about Toreador blood, the Scots, the French…
She is a pale ginger English rose with blazing red hair and piercing green eyes
who used to be quite stroppy, but is now mellowing with age…
Suddenly I taste her wickedly delicious thoughts as they turn on me.
I hear her faint insane laughter, which promises a hot and wild night,
filled with passion in the sky.
Passion in the sky? I do not immediately comprehend this…
Her warm breath trails over my glistening skin
promising wild sexual contentment…
I linger on imagining what kissing her would be like-
slow, smooth, mutual desire...
wicked is her smile, passionate is her gaze;
funny, kinky, insane, untamed,
yet warm, gentle, peaceful, and innocent...
I want to embrace them all...
She dims the lights and moves closer...
I respond by saying, “Put the lights on, you daft cow, I can’t see a thing!”
Not very romantic, I immediately realize.
She notices my dejection, and comforts me…
her peach fuzz glistening in the moonlight.
I cannot resist it, but she keeps me at bay for the moment…
Her vacuum cleaner stands erect in the corner, waiting to fly us where we will.
We finish our noodles and hop on.
It is a very unpredictable ride.
“Hi Ho, Away!”
It is soon very cold, and I notice all our clothes are gone.
“Hey! How did you…” but all I received in reply was her wicked laugh
and a cold front bottom, an interesting sensation nevertheless.
She said it was somewhat irresistible, bordering on insatiable.
I found that infatuating…
I touch her for the first time.
(As I, of course, hold on! and tightly!)
Into the heavens we soar
lost among the clouds…
Through the stratus, cirrus, and cumulus clouds she climbs.
Under the cirrostratus, altocumulus, and altostratus clouds we loop.
Over the nimbostratus, stratocumulus, and cumulonimbus clouds we bare all.
All the while I am touching her... I mean, I am hanging on...
We hover within a cirrus formation and she turns, facing me.
My instinct is to shield my eyes in modesty.
Hot, passionate love is in her eyes. She slides closer.
I am soon lost in a hazy cloud of sensations high above the city below.
Momentarily I wonder how a vacuum cleaner can fly,
and I decide to let Sir Isaac Newton worry about that.
I get back to the more stimulating matters at hand…
Just then my worse nightmare occurs- a gathering thunderhead rising and moving toward us.
It begins to rain. A loud ‘crack’ and long, rolling thunder… (she loves thunder)...
She says, "Giddy-up!" and the vacuum cleaner dives back to Earth.
We glide along, and arrive at a fork in the road, and stop, and…
she turns, and…
we make hot, passionate love again...!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
I notice she has on her favorite boots…
I could use boots right now, I thought. I could use any piece of clothing right now…
well, maybe in a few minutes…
We then take the road less traveled by,
and our vacuum cleaner runs out of gas, leaving us stranded.
We start to streak home in the rain and thunder
and take refuge in a fog bank just as the storm really whips up.
The fog bank is crowded with streakers, so we hurry on,
and soon find a French sidewalk café, where we rest.
We sit and order a bottle of wine…
wine- that social lubricant
which makes men brave and women loose…
We are warmed and we return home
and cuddle in bed together,
and that was the end of our huge adventure, or so I thought.
It was just a prequel…
The vacuum cleaner attachments
peak around the corner
as we cuddle under the covers
sharing our hugenesses…
we are still wet, in more ways than one now…
and it is a huge success…
She says, "I like ‘suc…cess’!"
Imprisoned in her desires
through the cool, stormy night
I satisfy her one inch at a time,
slowly savoring, teasing, building up to a rocking end,
an explosion of two bodily entities
heated; their cravings intermingling, intermixing...
Way past my bedtime she keeps me up,
beyond the stroke of midnight,
the hands of time caress her body and mine in the virgin glows
of the ethers of the night that softly settle between us...
We have touched now, and are still loving;
soon we give in to a restful sleep until dawn,
with many sweet, sweet dreams
filled with our sensual surreal adventures
dancing in the moonlight...
I return across the Atlantic.
She is an enigma dwelling in my mind,
in a way that haunts my every waking moment.
I find a note in my pocket...
“Thank you, Ace!”
That day with the vacuum cleaner began our long romance…
now I sit like a zombie
staring at the screen… wondering... marveling…
Bronze trophy winner
Adding your comment:
I think the 10th stanza was a bit of a jarring technical note in the midst of the rest of the imagery. Maybe you meant it that way?
How true, how funny and how well put!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
(sorry couldn't resist
.....I almost tired reading the writing.....man......what a trip......I say that beats flying via air liners.....just think......flying while the wind blows in your face...and your mode of flight....is one that sucks the aire right out of your atmosphere...
nutters!! Good luck in the contest & thanks for the laughter. La x 
