“The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.” ~ Robert Frost
Just moments ago,
nothing deemed or seemed
possible as the canvas I held
was blank like a glass filled with
water and I haven't taken a drink...
no matter, I'll just sit underneath
this grove until something ardent
strikes
Father sun had beaten down the lurking
of iridescent cadence for reason unknown
for 'tis I know not this reason myself nor
will I fathom the impossible song now
being alliterated from whence it came
Illustrious daydream came dancing
as my miles haven't been walked...
but perhaps still, should I wait 'til
sister moon arises so I can finally walk
amongst the mysterious world she has to
offer?
Finally, a whisper, nothing ever
heard before, came down for a talk;
transgressional marvel sat in bewildered
gazes as I too, finally stood and walked
Author notes
How odd can this be to find a picture AND a quote that matches perfectly together so I might keep this wee series project going for a bit
THIS HAS BEEN REVISED FOR IMPROVEMENT OF GETTING PUBLISHED
Written December 3rd, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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BonnieQ,
this helps more than you know and I appreciate this a great deal. Again, thank you so much. Then in that case, I made the first blunder by only sending in a small partial manuscript...don't get me wrong I do have over fifty of these writes but any and all commentary I welcome wholeheartedly
Rae
Edited on Feb 23, 2:05 p.m. because 'needed a line'. -
Gorgeous Poem
The idea you have for a collection of poems based on various quotes is quite novel, one that just may well fly. However, Each poem should have its own title, as opposed to how you have it set up at this moment. The title of the chapbook itself could reflect poems based on quotes, but you would want to create a title that grabs the reader and draws them into the pages.
This is an exceptionally beautiful poem; albeit, it does need editing for improper word usage, etc:
1. nothing seemed or deemed -- this would read better and make more sense with the next line as nothing was deemed or seemed
2. Mother sun had beaten down the lurking -- earth is known as the mother, therefore the sun as father; I would suggest Father sun had beaten down the lurking
3. for 'tis I not know this reason myself nor -- this would read much smoother as for 'tis I know not this reason myself or -- nor is used when neither is present -- or, in keeping with the next line, it could be phrased for 'tis I neither know this reason myself nor. . .
4. being alliterated from winch it came -- winch/whence
5. Illustrious daydream come dancing -- come/came
6. sister moon arise so I can finally walk --arise/arises
7. Finally, a whisper, nothing never -- nothing never creates a double negative hence a positive, indicating it was heard before; therefore, it should be nothing ever
8. Since punctuation has been used, it should be used properly or not at all
In summary, the basic problem with this piece has to do only with good editing; a skill that every publisher looks for in a talented writer: without such, they hardly will even consider his or her work, especially if the writer is resistent to constructive criticism and to making necessary changes to further enhance his or her work.
As I mentioned in the beginning, this is a fine poem that simply needs some polishing until it blindingly shines. Also, poetry publishers normally want a collection of 50-100 poems to even consider doing a chapbook.
Before querying a publisher, you need to get a current copy of Poets' Market, which lists all poetry publishers, what type of poetry they desire, whom to contact, how to submit work, and they offer publisher guidelines; this latter for which, you simply write a short letter requesting the guidelines and an include an SASE for them to return them to you. Guidelines must be followed to the letter, or they will return the manuscript unopened and unread.
I hope this helps, Ayizan.
Love and hugs
B♥nnieQ
Associate Editor, WA
Waltsan Publishing, TX
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theres more of this i think im current at seven of these writes and about to do an eighth, ninth and tenth tonight but it seems like i got a prog to make bgs but for some reason it doesnt wanna do right
Rae -
Very smooth flow and nice ending, Az! Hey! I did a song to that Robert Frost poem...! I'm glad something ardent struck you!
Edited on Dec 04, 3:52 p.m. because ''.
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