The mirrors were magnificent, and they shone from on in,
It proved to me, it was destiny, but I could not fit in,
You covered yourself with cuts that went on your heart,
I covered myself in many things, but then I tore them apart.
Oh beautiful mistaken, You re one of a kind,
Oh beautiful mistaken, your beauty ruined mine,
And now we stand together trying hard just to praise,
But in this life we lead, we're nothing away from the stage..
Now I'm covered in glitter, but I'm not shining bright enough to see,
You don't even give me a glance, as you walk on top of me...
I'm holding the door for you, In hopes that you will stay.
But all the words I wrote for you, would only push you away...
Oh beautiful mistaken, You re one of a kind,
Oh beautiful mistaken, your beauty ruined mine,
And now we stand together trying hard just to praise,
But in this life we lead, we're nothing away from the stage..
My words weren't pretty enough to paint you with,
They weren't good enough to sing to you, No,
They weren't good enough, to sing to you...
While you were asleep, I sang to you...
Oh beautiful mistaken, Your one of a kind,
Oh beautiful mistaken, your beauty ruined mine,
And now we stand together trying hard just to praise,
But in this life we lead, we're nothing away from the stage..
Oh beautiful...
Author notes
Written December 3rd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything u want! prewrites allowed!!!! by ILUVuBUTuDONTluvME.
300 points, ended August 26, 2006, 33 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can't sing? Can write? Enter your songs here! by upperworld06.
700 points, ended March 23, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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i imagined it as a song in a play its beautiful and takes me on a jounery
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wow tjos os awesome! only found one thing, in the first line of the verse you forgot the 're in you're. great job, love it, thanks for entering
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The subject matter was rather cliché, as was the verse form; however the glitter simile was interesting.
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omg. this is amazing!!!!! its beautiful!!! its WONDERFUL!!!! its the best thing i've read 2day!!!!!! its beautiful!! goshh! i love it!!! it has a pretty big chance of winning!!! i dont think we have a competion.
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This is beautiful. Well-executed even through the more hackneyed verse. This was quite romantic. Thank you for sharing.
Arielle Giselle -
This is very nicely done! I love the descriptive words, the metaphors and the general feel of this poem. The repeated stanza is very effective! Love it!!
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thanks so much, your comment was exactly what I was looking for
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I changed what you said, well for the most part, thanks so much! -
OMG, this is really sad. It reminds me of a friend I have. She is so nice, but it's as if I am not good enough for her, but she is so nice and I have written countless words for her, and she's read most of them, but she doesn't appreciate them at all. I try hard every day to please her and be more of her friend, but it doesn't work, and she's one of those people you can't not be friends with cause she is so nice and I can't help but not be mad at her. I am caught in her trap and kiss up to her and gain nothing by it. ugh, will I ever be what she considers a friend. It's strange, it seems like she is the only one. She doesn't not talk to me, or anything, but she doesn't consider me like any of her other friends. Oh geeze, I just starting rambling on about myself when I should be talkin about your poem. This was great, I love how you were really repetitive and you made clear what you were trying to say, awesome job. Sorry for the rambling, it's a common habit of mine, he he
See you around the deep end
moment liver -
"My words weren't pretty enough to paint you with,
They weren't good enough to sing to you with,
They weren't good enough, to sing to you...
While you were asleep, I sang to you...
Oh beautiful mistaken, Your one of a kind,
Oh beautiful mistaken, your beauty ruined mine,
And now we stand together trying hard just to praise,
But in this life we lead, we're nothing away from the stage.."
I liked this, there were some things I thought you could work on a bit, but you have a good start here. I wouldn't repeat the refrain twice at the end of the poem, once gets your desired effect across nicely. Also, you spelled 'shined' wrong...lol, I know, now I'm just being picky. I just though you would liked to know. I think you did well with this in conveying your emotions and it will be a good song if you choose to use it as such.
Enough of my rambling,
-Darkness
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Amazing imagery. you are a beautiful poet! and this poem shows such beauty. Great work. Not much to say really, it was almost perfect. Perhaps not the best idea to repeat the last stanza. only my opinion.
lp -
wow this is really good... great work i really enjoyed it and understand the feeling... anyways keep writting i liked it
~Will
p.s. there was one mistak you siad "i words" and it should have been "my words" other than that great job! -
wow great work.
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LOVE IT USE IT FOR THE BAND!!
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