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thick falling snowflakes

Missing image
thick falling snowflakes
a glistening white carpet
santas on his way

Author notes

getting into the festive spirit!
Written December 2nd, 2005

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    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Shancy Fayre
    December 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I can see it your way and it is fun and lovely. Nice job. Shancy.

  • Sai Babas Lotus
    December 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas:-) Tell me what has inspired this poem...the background or has the poem been penned first and then the background chosen?

    On tip in haiku to remember is to use maximum only one -ing word. There are two here and my suggestion is to knock one off and find a substitute for it.

    maybe you could sharpen this a bit like this:
    a glowing carpet
    of thick snowflakes --
    awaits santa

    All the best for future haiku,
    Charishma