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Eager Dreams (of Christmas)

The clock chimed thirteen,
and embers humoured the frost.

It ought to be fixed soon,
the curious number.
Though in the night,
more hours are needed.

Season's greetings all.

Jingle bells.
Jingle bells,
high in the sky.

Sydney, China, India, Paris,
London, New York, Los Angeles, Hawaii…

During slumber, busy it is.
Bestowing hopes and plastic,
and eating mince pies.

The vultures be them naïve,
may then unravel yearned for gifts.
Reminiscent faces coo,
until new becomes broken.

Tucked up tightly,
eager minds dream eager dreams.

And a wave in the sky, blesses the dawn.

The end.

Author notes

Happy Christmas!

I hope this poem fits with the contest. I know it's not over the top with the giddy Christmas spirit, it's just that I wanted to write a slightly different style of Christmas poem, and I think thats what it is.
Written December 1st, 2005

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • fishinglad
    December 29, 2005
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    This is different and I enjoyed reading it. I concentrated on the words you have used and got a really good image from what you have written. Well done.

  • Art
    December 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Nice! I like the imagry. It is heartwarming to see how much you like Christmas but I can't follow it so...


  • ICOMMANDyou2boogie
    December 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Unique

    a very unique poem and an enjoyable read.


  • December 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this poem. It's great to read a different poem about christmas that doesn't have the same words, and same story. Good job.
    Edited on Dec 04, 8:32 because ''.

  • Dying-on-the-Inside
    December 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    i'm deffinatly not a christmas sort of person, but this poem was a good read, i liked it alot.


  • goddesskevauna
    December 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very eager indeed! You sure do know how paint eagerness here. And it is done very well! I just love the imagery painted here. Beautiful!

  • la rose espoir
    December 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very original and with some great images and descriptions. This has a very defined flow throughout. I like the idea at the beginning about the clock chiming thirteen -- it sets the fantasy mood for the rest of the poem. Nicely done.


  • Simone Brooklyn
    December 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like it a lot. I agree with someone above, in the middle it kind of lost its meaning or its strength that is started with, but the ending was great.


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    December 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Quite different indeed, like the way it formed into a christmasy poem and the flow picked up as it continued through out ..good job.. thank you for sharing..
    Linda


  • silverscent gold member
    December 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I do enter contest and I'll have a look thanks, I just hope they accept prewrites.


  • NoWayJo
    December 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    from the very first line of this poem it's sentiment was put into the reader's head and the sentiment and message of this poem very well done and quite unique. enjoyed this read very much, Silver!

    I don't know if you do the contest thing, but I know I came across a contest lately which is requesting "un-Christmas" Christmas poetry. you may want to scan through yourself, and if I should come across it again, I'll certainly let you know!

    Jo


  • getsbetter
    December 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A very abstract poem, but very nicely written. it was different. I like it lost alittle of it starting but the middle and end were very strong, getsbetter


  • Chu
    December 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    nice! i've seen christmas peoms before, and most put me off. this drew me in.


  • Kilrah
    December 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is really interesting, somethign unique. Really well written to. Good job!


  • TheSpiralGenerator
    December 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I'm not much of a Christmas person, but this is a good poem for those who are. Thanks for posting it on here so everyone could read.
    [J o e y]


  • MessedupMarionette
    December 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This was really good. Very abstract, and still managed to hold to it's theme. Well done

    -Marionette

1 - 16 of 16