Once where there was laughter,
there's now sadness in my eyes.
For what it is that I've become,
I truly do despise.
I used to dream that when i grew up
I'd turn into a swan.
But now that i am fully grown,
all hopes of that have gone.
When I look into a mirror,
i hate what it is I see.
That monster that I hate so much
keeps staring back at me.
Author notes
Written December 1st, 2005
A contest entry
- PPPOOOOEEEETTTRRRRYYYY! by DeepDarkDesire.
400 points, ended February 18, 2006, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MILLIONS OF OPTIONS!!!! ALL AGES!!!! PLEASE GO IN PLEASE by Eternal-Jammy-Jam.
450 points, ended September 27, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness and Hope. by XxNinjaNemoxX.
550 points, ended August 16, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Excellent write!!! Congrats on a well deserved Silver... a little yes dance around my chair for you!!
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Woooohooo
Thanks so much for awarding me the silver. I'm sooooo excited and glad that you liked it
xxxxx
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Oh I absolutely adore this. The last stanza just stunned me.
The rhyme was nearly flawless and I just love it
Thanks for entering and best of luck
xoxo. -
'There is hope in darkness and there is darkness in hope'
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XxXxXxKIMBLESxXxXxXxX
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I relate to this well, yet I know many people say this...so I'll just end this with an applaud
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OMFG I can so relate. Fantastic write and good luck.
~dramaqueen469~ -
There are good things in every bad situation I agree!
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Your not a monster and if there is something about you that you don't like, there is always time to change! Life doesn't have to get you down. there are good things in every bad situation if you look. The Shaker
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This is a great poem! It delivers how you feel triumphantly! Excellent!!!! This was not what I was expecting but it was nice to be surprised! Keep writing great poems!
Hugs Nicole -
Brilliant...i love rhyming poetry and you are so good at these. HMMM, reflections hey, dont always liek what we see, but its dealing with it that makes all the difference.
Expertly crafted emotion in this...really good write well done!
Laters
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NO dreams don't always come true this dissapointment is harsh and real and you have really captured it, though if you are strong enough you will move on to realise that looks can never equate a truly beautiful human being and to love being the person you are is to banish the monster and emerge the swan. you are you and only your opinion counts in this case. be strong. be the the person you want to be on the inside and it will amaze you the beauty you will attract and the ugliness you will overcome in your life. nice write. hope things get better.
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I liked this. The rhyming was really good, and it didn't seem like it was forced even the tiniest bit. Most peoms seem like their forced, if hardly anything they still do. You have a lot of talent in that feild.
-Jessykah -
It appears you have a natural knack for good rhyme, as the rhyming here is excellent. I stumbled a bit on the meter in the last stanza, but the message comes through sharp and clear.
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thank you so much, your comment really made me smile x
good luck in the contest -
Dark, deep and painful. Dreams dont always come true in the way we would hope them to, but in my opinion...from your poems...your eyes may see something they dont like...but my heart sees that beautiful swan. Great poem!!
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