Trifle
with the
ever knowing
abstract endearments
of what life has yet to
provide without
telling the whole story
Tally up the lottery tickets
just so all things of figurative decadence
can look on and value the pricelessness of it all
Crushing hordes pull on the
bell tower's cords, so time would
resume in the recesses of idle,
lucid, fictitious ink; drip down
to the concrete water below
Paths taken...
Pasts crossed...
Surely there's sometime ringing
while looking through a half shattered
glass or mirror
Time ticks down onto
but underneath the sidewalk-like
note paper--observing once again
through shades of gray...but
mundane appears abhorrent to
the blind and mute
Author notes
abstract view of society
Written December 1st, 2005
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Comments
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This was good, but for me, it was not great. Beginning with "trifle" seemed to stick immediately for me. Instead of entering smoothly into the poem, it's immediate and seems to come out of left field entirely. It is abstract, most definitely, but I had to grasp at the imagery and language before it was gone. By that I mean, you had one or two really good lines, and I felt compelled to keep reading them over and over because the rest weren't really up to standard. Although I am opting to remove this from the contest, I want to thank you for taking the time to enter.
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Liking this entry into what has become my fave contest to read.
This stanza in particular-
Crushing hordes pull on the
bell tower's cords, so time would
resume in the recesses of idle,
lucid, fictitious ink; drip down
to the concrete water below
Killer piece, best of luck,darlin.
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I have an issue with ever using elipses in poetry, lol, but I did enjoy this. It had a very stop-go kind of feel to it that was catching at times and interrupted the flow, but strong imagery definitely makes up for it. The first three lines were extremely enjoyable.
I'll wait for onerios13's comment on this one. In the meantime, welcome to the contest!
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