It isn't because
I can't--
it's because
I won't.
I won't let you
trample
on their heads,
regard their deaths
as nothing.
you sit
and rant
about your last cent
but they never had shit.
and the fog you curse
they bless;
it hides them from
the hisssing
kiss of death.
........
as your television blares,
and as you glare
at profiteers selling wares
into the odd hours
of the morn
I cry
because there's nothing anyone can do
to make you realize
a man
is a man
is
a
man
and these kisses won't touch
your head
......
black sheep bleat
in a colder kind of heat-
fleece them while you can
still the television man
will win.
we are all a lie
in
the
end
Author notes
quit peddling your anti-human crap as american values and patriotism. it will never sell here. people are people no matter who they are or where they live. we are all equal.
Written November 30th, 2005
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Comments
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I really like this. I think I want to marry the line "still the television man/will win" (lol)! Nice formatting, really puts the poem on another plane. And i love the Author Note, I completely agree!! I also like the line "and these kisses won't touch
your head" alot. Great write sweetie!
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I know what you mean
While watching TV the other day. I kept listening to emphatical frases of these highly-respected mediums of communications. They gave the louder key to such words as "there were 2 Filipinos" or "today in the Latino community." I finally turned the TV off and read a book. I never thought that the ethnicity of a person could be more valuable than their merit and morals. I could read and re-read this poem and feel it sink into me...Like an injection of meaning!
Best wishes,
Kristy
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wow
i am truly speechless as i will be re-reading this...
it is true... -
superb.
I relatively new to this site, And having never read any of your writing before find myself quite affected. Their is something intensly ethereal about it. Although I wouldn't count "americana" among my favourites, it still retains the essence of the thing, (for which I cannot find words appropriate
to express,unfortunately) that I find so appealing.It is lush, provocative, truly amazing. -
kickass
waoh very clever poem. melikes, espesh the sheep part. have you ever seen 'girl, interrupted'? coz that man is a man part reminded me of Lisa's "a man is a dick is a chicken" line. great use of metaphor. xxx -
and the fog you curse
they bless;
it hides them from
the hisssing
kiss of death.
Like Ana I enjoyed this immensely...and also thinks that this would be a great on-stage piece to perform. But then again, what else would I expect from your most impressive pen?
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if you think there are parts which could sound better, it would be better if you expounded on exactly what they are and what, in your opinion, should be changed.
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This has very interesting ideas in it. I like it. It seems to be quite deep, and even though I think there are parts where it could sound better, the thoughts behind are indeed worth pondering.
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Wonderful. You're very talented with words, you brought forth some very emotional and important ideas and you had more than enough skill to write about them.
I especially liked that you didn't resign to over used ryhmes or cliches, its very original and very well done. Good work. -
You have touched on some excellent points that need to be heard by many. We do lots of things in the name of patriotism. What a farce most of them are. This is a thought-provoking poem my friend. I like the presentation as well. The best to you in this challenge.
Renee
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This is good and all very true. Most people tend to deny that they trample on people and are indifferent about what happens to them. I really love the part where it says "a man is a man is a man." Reminds me of math for some reason. And I love the last words. I agree that we're all lies.
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I love it...
This is one of my new favorites on the site.
I feel different emotions and think different things.
It captures the human and humane spirits.
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AHHHHHHHHHHH. This is just so amazing, I loved it I've read so many poems about this topic, but I think this might be one of the best. You did an excellent job with your word usage, I also liked your slight rhyme scheme...and I hate rhyming poetry too. Very well done, keep it up.
~Kevin -
that is truely beautiful.
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Oh hell. You know I like it. lol. There's a lot of very subtle rhyme going on here that lends to this poem a nice beat or slam feel. I bet this would be wonderful to perform on stage. I think there's so much you can do to it in that arena, really expound on all its positives. Loved it.
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Such an intriguing background for this poem - you bet this is thought provoking, but will it make anyone change their mind about anything? Will make us all think a bit about it as we read this, but in the end, what can we do? You have made us think, and ponder a while, that's for sure. Well written - great form used - so free and gaps to make us think even more. Keep writing...
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this write is very thought provoking and really makes the reader think hard about society and its bucket-o-crap...
...thats a part of life whethere it's liked or not
Rae -
....good write maybe a less amount of spaces but i really liked the content of the poem. It is the first time in a while that I have seen something truely original great job.
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A brilliant, subtle, yet scathing attack on hypocrisy and xenophobia.
Thanks for this. -
hm. i wonder if i had anything to do with this peice?
... ... **long pause**
nah probably not. -
beautiful nice tone and good flow. nice expression.
this poem was absolutely brilliant.
Awesome visuals, you painted a sensational picture in my mind. -
WOW! It's rarely that i can truly say this, but this poem was absolutely brilliant. You have shown me a flair for style, for insight and for expressing the thoughts that have been sadly repressed in many of us for far too long. I agree with your sentiments absolutely, and believe that far too many crimes have been committed against humanity in the names of patriotism and faith and justice. Awesome visuals, you painted a sensational picture in my mind. I would be honoured to hear what you think of some of my works.
*silver -
_b <- thumbs up buddy
well worded, well crafted
well enjoyed
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