So I cry mascara tears
and wish I always had you here
I know that you will understand
Look at me and hold my hand
You'll tell me this is not my fault
And wipe away the eyelids salt
In your arms I'm not afraid
I smile senseless so cliched
But you tell me you will love me
No matter what the future holds
You'll hold my hand and pull me in
when I shiver in the cold
I'm so glad that you'll love me
As together we can make it through
Without my heartbeat in your arms
I'd suffer so much more its true.
As I shuffle in the snow
My downturned eyes seem so exposed
Please hide me from these preying minds
and show me that men can be kind
False friends ask if I'm okay
As I'm hiding in the shade
only you I long to see
For yours is real sympathy
But you tell me you will love me
No matter what the future holds
You'll hold my hand and pull me in
when I shiver in the cold
I'm so glad that you'll love me
As together we can make it through
Without my heartbeat in your arms
I'd suffer so much more its true.
Running dreams crawl through my head
You'd fix my heart so torn to shreds
You call me up to check I smile
to hear your voice I do a while
So in your arms please pull me tight
With you all things seem so right
Kiss away my broken cries
Our sweet love my true disguise
But you tell me you will love me
No matter what the future holds
You'll hold my hand and pull me in
when I shiver in the cold
I'm so glad that you'll love me
As together we can make it through
Without my heartbeat in your arms
I'd suffer so much more its true.
Author notes
So this is about mike 
As yeah, hes lovely. And i decided i really couldnt write lvoe poetry of any form and thought id jsut have to prove myself. so mission well done lol.
Love ya xxx
Written November 30th, 2005
A contest entry
- PAY IT FORWARD....again by Thedragonisgone.
300 points, ended October 30, 2006, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Woohoo!! I love the acoustic guitar and I'd love to hear this played.. WOW! I'm so envious of those with musical talent as that gift has almost passed me completely;.
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Hello I've played it before and did so with an acoustic guitar which soudned good, and would love to havea piano on it as well! Its quite a slow song, can't really describe whose music it soudns like! I htink it would be really quite adaptable just not too fast thank you!
xxxx -
As lyrics are prose put to music, I wonder what sort of tune or instruments you would have playing this..? I'm just nosey - don't mind me.
Anyway, this work seems to be about that loe that keeps you going and fits perfectly into the contest, my dear. Thank you for entering. Take care. -
Very nicely done. You have completed your mission bc this is very sweet and caring, and i myself can deffinatly relate to this. Very nice flow as well. awsome write. Good luck and thanks for entering.
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Thank you all! I'm planning of using a line of this for mikes christmas present, can any of you help me figure out a line?? xx
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excellent
Aww Beautiful Piece! Very well detailed, the emotions you've expressed through this piece are very remarkable. And I liked this piece its very sweet, keep it up and good luck
~ Steph ~ -
Nice.
Best of wishes
Tiffany -
hmmmf n u said u cudnt write love poetry... lol this is cute, how u can feel like that about a chav is beyond me
lol... even so lovely poem, v sweet good luck in contest v bewtiful poem... seems tis all goin well for u n mike, hav u told him everythin bout rob?... nehoo ttyl em xxx
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A+
i am glad you proved to yourself you could write love poetry. You accomplished it nicely I will add. It was so honest... so loving! it didn't feel forced, which always makes a write better to read (at least in my opinion.)
my favorite line is "My downturned eyes seem so exposed"
the seeming contradiction of downturned eyes being exposed impressed me. i'm a sucker for contradictions. well written!
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Hi,
I know you didnt ask for crit, but as you paid points to feature this I think it's only fair if I give you a reasonable comment, so here goes:
There are some parts of this I really liked, I like the idea of "mascara tears" and "my heartbeat in your arms", and many more examples of unexpected imagery that you put in here.
I got a bit lost with the changing rhyme pattern, which starts off AABB and goes through ABCB to the third stanza which seems to lose the rhyme almost entirely, and then you have brought the ABCB back, and so on. It did break the flow for me I'm afraid.
I like the idea of the repeating stanza, which does help hold the whole thing together. And some of the words in that repetition are well put together.
But the poem doesnt hold a rhythm for me overall, which makes it a little hard to read.
The idea behind it is great and I'm sure Mike will be flattered you wrote about him in such a warm way! Like I say, feel free to ignore my comment, but I felt it was only right to offer some feedback as this item was featured.
LB -
Beautiful
I loved this. It moved me to tears as I have felt this so perfectly before. It was a pleasure to read. -
This is a really beautiful poem I love the emotions shown, a heartfelt piece, I know these feelings my SJ has helped me through so many things and we have a stronger relationship out of it. Great job
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brilliant i liked it alot kinda long but hey if thats they way its meant to be right ne ways great form and flow very nice work way to say what your thinking goood job
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yeah so let me say this-thank you-this says exactly what i wish to say-says how i feel-i think this is awesome and i really love it alot-i needed to read this today-especially today-this is awesome thanks you
~katie~
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