nonconformist sheep
of slip knot fabrication
in hues of hunger
misery monger
flowing with the go
of has been hypocrisy
vile freaky forerunner
to fabulous decomposing
compositional noise
in the ears of the head
off the lips
around the bend of
have not
have not heart
have not voice
have not courage
to voice a real opinion
parrots paid to
put a price on souls
profitable greed
seed and
way to be
fallout
bought and sold
entrapped in
fertilizer of
fragrant stench
tapped out
trapped in
based in nothing
but a hole of
airs and amusement
dying on the
trite and true
choking from the
gospel of
pulpit bibles
unread in
twisted words
of more have not
have not puppet
dancing on a string
to the music
of mid finger
extensions
double ewe
double ewe
double ewe
shining in
multiplications
of rabbits
demanding worship
of originality in
split pea soup
or alphabits
tipped over
bent
broken
badgered
into apathy.
Author notes
Public critique is most welcome 
This was the lightest background I could find. Let me know if you prefer another for reading purposes.
Written November 30th, 2005
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1 - 8 of 8
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Thank you for entering the “ALL PREWRITES – NO I’s” COMPETITION” , I am now reading and sorting the entries. I hope to have the competition judged - and results posted - by 1.pm today, London time.
Detailed critiques will follow over the next few days.
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I found this to be an intense read. I have to say that the very first stanza set the tone for this entire piece. I loved the “hues of hunger” part. That was brilliant in my opinion.
~ John
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This poem uses such a unique way with words. Also, I like how you give the reader hints as to what you're talking about but always give them the freedom of interpreting it by not being so obvious. I enjoyed this.
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Yes, well we have met these poor parrot souls who will say and do whatever is necessary for the attention, to be on top, to be hot, to be the latest thing, to be the god, end all, be all, authority on just about anything trendy and present. I appreciated the deviation from the typical form. Great poem.
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Wow!!
Magnificient description of apathy with all details.
Depth of this poem is excellent and gives a crystal clear picture.
Very well written.
Best wishes and good luck in the contest,
manoj -
excellent!
first..i like to thank you so much for the constructive criticism..i really apprecaited it..and looking at ur poem now..i understand what u were trying to get across..
2nd..this is a magnificent poem..it left me a sense of abosulte distain..and hopelessness..the imagery is awesome..but above all.the emotions run very deep..wonderful
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Lol, Barb. You are a brave woman I think it will be quite interesting to see what affect it has on reader
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Yikes it's more scary than mine!
This is absolutely dreadful...not the poem but the feeling it leaves you with.. i'll go out quickly and re-enter to see if i can find something a bit more cheerful
Barb
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