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screams and nightmares


Screams and nightmares
Are a life I want,
I cant live to bind.
A world I haunt
I may just find
My heart and soul
Satan holds my future
Watch it unfold.

Author notes

please tell me weteva u fink bout it (be as honest as u can)
Written November 30th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • illusi0ns
    December 24, 2005
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    wonderfully written
    very dark

    -sancia-
    VvvvvV
  • I-She-I
    December 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I agree with delicate lily.... although i didn't like this one as muchas your others, but hey, all poetry is good, so long at it's sincere and honest.

  • seremela
    December 1, 2005
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    LOVE it! (i dun care bout puncuation!)

  • Jaded Lily
    December 1, 2005
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    You may have some good thoughts here for poetic reasons, but you seem to be lacking some puncutation in key areas, so this seems to affect the flow. After your first sentence, it just reads like one run-on sentence with two seperate thoughts contained therein. I think if you could implement a semicolon or at least a comma there to show the separation of the two thoughts, then this may help. Also "cant" has an apostrophe like so: "can't" Overall, not a bad piece, it just needs a bit of fine tuning. Good job!
    Lily

  • Iwantu2
    November 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I totally agree with tmfndurnil your ideas are genuine. I loved the flow of the poem, although it was short it was very nice. Keep writting!!!!!!!!!!
  • tmfndurnil
    November 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Your beliefs may be a little different than mine, but the way you orchestrate your ideas and come with them are genuine. Nice work.
1 - 6 of 6