I will comb myself into chains
using the strands of your hair.
Unable to escape the presence
of your disapproving stare.
I've fallen behind the shadows
of your haunting silhouette.
Far past intimidation
No longer able to feel upset.
You have kept me bound with torment
using mind games as you please.
Bringing me beneath you
Begging upon my knees.
My voice has been silenced
by you for far too long.
Realizing your mistakes
believing in what was wrong.
Breaking from the chains
that kept me trapped as your slave.
Freeing me from the darkness
releasing me from this grave.
Author notes
I picked the lyrics "I will comb myself into chains" by Tori Amos to write this piece
Written November 29th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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This is fantastic. the way you've used everyday thigs is just great! i love then way the ending see's you excaping that's fantastic. I dont have any negative thoughts on this lol the spelling's write. i think the punctuation is fine. and it's all in good order well done. Theres alot of things that draw you into this poem and it's just one of those things you want to keep on looking at. Thank you for the excelletn read.
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this was a lovely poem...love can do many things...hurt as well as heal...i wish you, the best..peace and harmony..shzoosy
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megga
Love this it draws pictures as you read and fills the reader with intrigue weel done
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Well I must say that I think this is a very good write. It has alot of enthusiasm and I like the way you have rhymed. Some people just think of a word that would rhyme with that particular thing but you have thought it out properly... I think that is a very good technique that you have. I can also relate sadly to the feeling... But I have made others feel this way. It's a good write, I like it! Keep writing and good luck in your contest! All the best,
x Stef x -
Very good. Great flow, from the two of urs ive read i want to read more
Good job.
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This was and awesome piece of writing. Their ain't to much to be said that the others have not already. Excelent write my friend flowed perfect.
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Great work!! Fantastic flow... Memorable lin
Excellent flow
these lines are ever so memorable ... "I will comb myself into chains
using the strands of your hair." A wonderful flowing read Wishing you much success in all of your endeavors And a joyous Holiday Season to you and yours 
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Sounds like a relationship from hell. If this is autobiographical, I'm glad you've escaped from it.
Why is the font so dark here? I had to highlight the poem to read it. -
this piece is beautiful. you have this written well. I love the way you show your thought progression so strongly in this piece. .Lovely work
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That's a really great opening line ("...comb myself into chains"), but I didn't feel as though this lived up to that first rumble of clever imagery. The rest is a mish mash (to me) of angsty overused imagery. Certainly it has potential (all things do), but that first line is too good for the rest of the piece, and should be given more due. Try adding more juxtaposing images like that...add new things, verb things in ways they've never been verbed before.
Edited on Dec 11, 5:57 because ''. -
excellent job on this. you've taken a fresh approach to the subject of being "emotionally controlled" by someone we love.
very confortable rhyme to this too
i wish you much luck
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all around good job,soft flow,need to adjust it a little to complete the flow,note-flow is what keeps the person reading,
has good word choice,good rhythm, keep writing--kirby -
'I will comb myself into chains using the strands of your hair. Unable to escape the presence of your disapproving stare...' This is a fabulous penning, Cobalt Blue...I missed the contest...sighhh... I'm happy I found this piece, though...I love what you've done with the place...
Well done, Poet... 
Wanda
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I knew I had heard these words "I will cmb myself in chains" somewhere before, but they fit right into this poem perfectly. you did a great job on this poem my fiend, getsbetter
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The words in this poem just flowed and the Rhyming was great, this puts a a stark and eulogetic picture into my mind, awesome poem,
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Grade A+
thats how it is free yourself from the cage you were put in. great write, keep inspired,
Sugar -
Really nice job! I really enjoyed the imagery in this piece.
i love the rhyming .loved how well you worked your chosen lyric into this piece. Fantastic!! thanks for the read -
Well you make rhyming sound so easy, like it should just flow naturally from our lips Best of luck in this contest, cause I thought this was great. I like the last two stanzas, can relate to the feeling.
Great work!!! -
Easy flowing piece to read Tori herself might smile if she could read what you did with the lyrics of that song Best wishes in this contest,
Reenie
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Superb!
ohk! wow! this is beatiful bittersweet poem! wow! again and goodluck! -
awesome
Awesome. Great flow. I love it. -
I really like this. The flow is amazing...I don't often come across poetry that flows so well. I see the contest is now closed...I'm going to check to see if you placed.
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This is pretty good. there is some forced rhyming but overall its well written.
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Like a water fall this piece does flow. Quenching the rythmic feel of this write. Very articulate. This poem doesn't stumble with words, showing that the word and emotion was captured well and painted vividly the picture set fourth. I wish you much of luck upon this contest, if it hasn't been judgeed yet.... Sorry it does take me a while to get back to anyone but I do like to repay back those kind enough to read my work.
~~Druid~~~ -
This had great imagery, and flows very nicely. I loved "I will comb myself into chains using the strands of your hair..." that line practically pulled me in. nice job with this.
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Thanks for entering the contest!
Really nice job! I really enjoyed the imagery in this piece and loved how well you worked your chosen lyric into this piece. Fantastic! I'm reading and reading this and each time it brings a smile to my lips. Fabulous.
Thank you again for entering and good luck to you! -
great imagery
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Tori seems so popular among poets.. I love that title. I could seriously relate to these words, well written.
Red -
great job! i really enjoyed the line, "i've fallen behind the shadows of your haunting silhouette" that really describes a lot of things i can relate to! <3
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