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Just Smile

Power
Remorse.
His gaze:
    Blank
His pulse:
    Gone
The beauty of it all is there.
The life you took.

         Stand over his body,
Cry,
    Smile.
...Walk away
         Stop crying.
         Keep smiling.
    It's wrong
Yet right.
...Don't look back.
    It has been done
And it was you,

Just you.
    Numb.
    Comfortable,
And you smile,
Just smile.

Author notes


Written November 29th, 2005

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    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Sinfiend
    December 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Damn, this has a lot of anger to it, not just in a sort of pissed off at someone way, but a deep seeded loathing and bitterness that seeps out of the words like steam through a vent.
    Cool structure to it, and the minimalistic prose style worked really well for it. Good write.

  • Taoist Druid
    December 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A dance of words. Jumping from stanza to stanza. Long short.....Bitter...Happy.... You captured a marvelous idea. Short sweet and proves the emotional value. Very artistic indeed.
    Sorry takes me long time but I make sure to repay the graditude of those nice enough to actually comment on my work.

    ~~~Druid~~

  • December 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Luvd it, definatley good, liked how it was short but still really kept my attention, I especially like the start, great poem, we still hav 2 talk soon
  • BrokenheartandSoul
    November 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow november, this is good, twisted, but i still enjoyed it very much awesome with a good flow and a good plot. short, yes, but it manages to keep a story type of feel. but neway, i still like this alot.
    -srthigirl (a random poet)