This is the very end, so face into it;
This is my dying heart, heart you wasted.
These are my tears dripping on the ground.
My soul is voice, and you don’t hear a sound.
Your words rip the breath from inside of me,
Your ignorance is so unfaithful to my feelings,
You don’t seem to notice; you’re broken, cold.
So dig me a grave in the shallowest hole.
Leave me here in this quicksand of lies.
Allow me to grieve, allow me to die.
Force me into your prison, your hell.
Love is witchcraft; I’m under your spell.
You demon, you bastard, you sadistic ghost;
Caught me in a fire, tender, left me to roast.
In a purgatory of lost hopes I must wait,
‘Til you tell me you never loved me, too late.
I’m your whore, your corpse, your dying bride,
Living in misery with the truth that you hide.
Drowning in wet Chinese torture, tears from your eyes.
If you said you were sorry, I’d know that you lied.
Author notes
it a weird one... basically about hating someone for not loving you... and not being able to get over them
Written November 29th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow.
Ouch, my eyes! Wow. This was amazing! I love your ability to draw the reader in with your amazing word choice. The imagery is incredible, really painted a painful picture. Amazing write!!!
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This is awesome! I love it! Very powerful, emotional, and descriptive write. The strong words you used clearly add suspense to this poem, and the rhyming is outstanding. And you did an excellent job of putting your feelings into words. Great job! Keep up the amazing work!
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Yeah it don't suck I thought it was very intelligent, flowed well, had great rhyming, and was very well written. You did a super job on this as I liked it too. I think the message you send is one wrapped in confusn but it is there if you look closely enough And besides you telling it in the comments was pretty helpful too lol...to make this more interesting you should take off the meaning in your comment box and instead say "This poem has a secret message, can you guess what it is?" lol and watch the fun attempts
Sometimes it is really hard to see a message in a poem that is not "out there" in your face lol
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bravo
dont think it suckls at all thinks its a vcery deep and heart felt poem about a guys whos hurt youn a lot and if poetry has any purpose ,other than making pretentious pricks look even more pretentious, its about expression and you have expressed yourself perfectly in this so in a way its a perfect poem -
wow.
this is so incredibly good, i just don't have words.
now, that might sound like i have nothing to say about this poem, but thats the farthest thing from the truth...i have heaps to say, i just don't know how to say it!
It was well set out and just has so much depth and emotion and maybe hurt/anger/rage? in it.
it is an amazing poem, and i think i have to go and read more of your stuff now..... -
it sucks.
ok, so maybe not, but you did say...nevermind.
Although it doesnt suck, it isn't my cup of tea if you will. This is akin to 'journal poetry' but not quite. It is broad enough for people to remotely relate to it and almost understand what's going on, but still so personal it's "your" piece. For you to read and contemplate what it means to you.
Maybe i'm full of shite at the moment, i think i should go to sleep now. lol.
Thanks for sharing. i think i'll check out more of your poems later.
ViNce -
I like this you made me feel and it was well written and deep.
You painted me a picture with this, and that's a talent many don't have. Great job.
~Tease~ -
This is sad yet very powerful and the emotional back drop kicks ass ( in other words this rocks ).. your heart sings out loud and beautifuly and you have created some very deep images that
Hold the reader in a voice that says hell yeah..brilliantly penned and worth a million applauds.. -
I can relate to this, I was in a relationship years ago that was so bad I could have written this one! Good job!!
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It is disturbing but very powerful - I don't see why you aren't getting comments though. This is good work and worthy of attention. I am glad you promoted it. Have a great day.
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Wow.....
Positively disturbing...
Brilliantly so.
Amazing Paradox. -
Awesome
i like it... it dont suck. words are wrote and spoke differnt but when you feel the artist feelings put into it is when you can understand it.
good job and like i said i like this peice alot.
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