The memory I have of her
Is slowly growing faint
I have a picture in my mind
Drawn with soft purple paint
I was the one best
Who understood her speech
I knew her like we were one person
But her little hand was too far for my reach
And each morning I would hear
This little early bird
With the little tapping of her feet
Is usually what occurred
And even though I am forgetting
The gentle touch of her finger
I will never forget the time I spent
Even though with pain she lingered
And though I cannot remember
Her own little heartbeat
I will never forget
The tapping of her little feet
Author notes
R.I.P Gaberielle Firestar
'chocolate chip cake'
Written November 29th, 2005
option 1 i think it was, and i lost my sis
In a list
A contest entry
- Tears by bigXfatXemo.
525 points, ended April 17, 2007, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Aww!
This is so beautiful and touching. I can see how much she meant to you, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Thankyou so much for entering, and good luck =]
Frankie xXx
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This is a beautiful poem but I'm afraid I shall have to remove it because this contest is for ages 13 and under only. Sorry. xXxPurexXx
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sad but pretty
Very sad and poignant write. You expressed your emotions very well with this. I like the different approach to remembering a loved one. It's sweet that you remember the tapping of feet and hold onto that memory. Nice job.
Thanks for entering and good luck!
~dresden-moon -
lovely
Very beautiful. This was touching, and inspired by love. Thank you for sharing.
~Amerita -
Samber and Beautiful
Oh my goodness. This is unbelievably sad and somber. I absolutely love the tapping feet motif. Simply beautiful and touching. That little girl---so sad. I love your passage, it was very sweet and beautiful.
Cheers.
Alysha, simply beatiful. -
Excellant
ohhhh wonderfull poem.... so sad, I have a neice with spina biffida and we bless every day..
You have captured the truth well here.. memories fade but they always come back when we need them
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awesome
awesome poem! Isnt it sad when memories fade? -
So sad. The loss is felt by many, you wrote about it so well. This should be put in a sympathy card.
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I can't see the links. Would you mind changing the link colors? With that said this is a very sad write but very good. I believe it was heartfelt. Well done!
Safely hidden in the darkness,
~ Marisa aka The Rocker who lost all
Edited on Dec 01, 5:39 p.m. because 'mispelling'. -
I'm also assuming you lost a child very near to you. This was a lovely piece in remembrance of them. So sorry for you loss. *hugs*
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this is a great poem. i like how you showed that often, we remember the little things about loved ones rather than the big things.
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good job here friend,your right if we remember thoes we love instead of remembering what happened to them,we will have peace and fond memories of them,I lost a son a few years ago,he was three weeks old,but I have good thoughts about him,even though he was just three weeks old--kirby
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by the repitition of the little feet i am assuming you lost a child very near to you and for that i am sorry i thought this was a beautiful ode to her and may god be with you im truly sorry for the loss...
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aww...i found this really sad...did you lose a little girl? im really sorry if you did...peace be with you
~*~*CJ*~*~ -
yay
good job -
this is good it shows your true talent as a writer the emotion was raw and obvious good job
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This is an exceptional write, rather than the angst of loosing somone, it show's the beauty of knowing them. I enjoyed this peice.
-Chu -
This was a really really sweet poem, a little sad, but I really loved the tapping of the feet thing and how you came back around to it at the end, very nice. Great job.
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Very cleverly written!!
I like the overall flow of the piece except for the second stanza, I stumbled a bit there. But very nastolgic and overall well done! -
Have commented on this before.
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There is something about this poem which doesn't read as sad as you might expect.... it is peaceful and serene... based on perfect memories rather than angst. It still has that sad tinge to it, but there is something more. A bigger picture. And a lot of love which filters through.
My deepest sympathies. -
Makes remember those we have lost.
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Thank you your words mean alot. i choose that color because it is to me a state of peace, some people think blue might be. my sister also loved that color
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This is so sweet. A nice ode to someone who is no longer with us. My condolences to your, your family, and your friends. This poem is so neat in that the tapping of the foot is a heartbeat. I've never heard something compared like that. And out of curiosity, why specifically the colour purple?
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