light flooded caverns
hewn from soft sandstone hillsides
the sun is shining
Author notes
one of my final attempts!
Written November 29th, 2005
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Comments
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Thank you Mel...If only I could always find the perfect words in other areas of my life!...Dan xxx
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Great job on this one.. your words were chosen perfectly...
Always,
Mel
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This has wonderful imagery, and I could see what you were writing about. Haiku can have less syllables. The words, hewn by: could be dropped. The reason I say that is you can not acutally see "hewn by". I hope you don't take this as a bad comment, just an observation.
Cheryl
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You have some fabulous imagery going on in this piece and that is definitely one thing that haikus are commonly about, along with that of nature, as most of us who write them know. Good write.
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I feel like I'm there exploring. And what a lovely day, the sun
feels just right. A great job, Lomhar. Shancy. -
Great haiku!!!
i loved it really i did.
well done on this piece and i will try and read some more of your work in the future!
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