There are some who run away
Others come yet to stay
None are allowed to cry
Or to show what is felt inside
We have abused the common man
Caged him, cursed him
Beaten and maimed him
Making him stay deep within
Then we want him
Passive and tame
Refusing to see
His struggle to maintain
What started this subtle,
Reversed form of abuse?
Caged from birth, then set free
To expend the rage for the world to see
Let us take the time we have
To truly heal, no band-aids or salve
Help our men to truly be
The wonderful creations God made them to be
Author notes
To all men who have ever felt that society refuses to let them show their emotions.
Written November 28th, 2005 by Sylvyrwyng
In a list
A contest entry
- There IS Life After The Abuse {Contest} by Viyanna Rosemarie.
800 points, ended May 1, 2007, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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this is a great poem the rhyming was very well put and the wording as well..You are very talented and keep on writing...you have great skills..good luck with this contes
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impressed
What started this subtle,
Reversed form of abuse?
Caged from birth, then set free
To expend the rage for the world to see
I really these lines you hit the issue right on it head sorry for the pun. This right reflects today society and how man are treated. Someday I hope they get the message it ok to cry. It cleans our soul.
This is very well wrote -
Well done!
This is a common form of abuse in the world. Sometimes men feel so scared to cry the decide that dying or hurting other people is the only way they can show their hidden pain. If more men were aloud to cry, then maybe more people could realize how sensitive and normal they really are. Great write I loved it!
~Kate~
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this is so true , I am not a man but growing up I was not allow to cry , I was told crying is for sissy , and to this day its very hard for me to cry , I tell my boys its ok to cry get your feelings and emotions out
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I actually kinda like this. It sends a good message. Your rhyme went astray but the thoughts were clear.
Good luck
Raker -
ps--i would like to see punctuation as i personally think it would enhance the poem but it is up to you. viyanna rosemarie
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time is indeed what i believe to be one of the biggest factors in healing. we each do so at our own pace and if forced it causes one to slip further. thank you for your entry and good luck in this contest. viyanna rosemarie
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can you please add your name in the author comment box. sorry, i just added that on the contest page.
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Thank you very much for the compliment. I stopped one day and watched a father telling his son this and suddenly realized what it was that caused so much darkness in men. Society has tried to strip away the very emotional essense of male humanity.
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As one of the male species, I have lived such a life you described. As a child, I was taught through the sting of wire whips that men do not cry. They do not fear, they do not cower. Yet the very wire teaching me such lessons, quickle stripped them away. Today, I stand alone, broken, beaten, and worthless. My darkness has surfaced to the fore and only the wire is to blame. A wonderful thought provoking piece, Sylvyr. Excellent
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Bring on the male poet! Men add a depth to their poetry that we women can only imagine. To see men open up through words is something that is not only educational but admirable. Most men to this day tend to hide their deepest emotions from every one else, some even to themselves.
I have never been documented on the sensitivity level but with the creativity and imagination I have, I am able to place myself within another persons shoes (so to speak) and experience the emotions that they can feel. It is part of being an empath. -
An most encouraging poem!
I am impressed by your compassion and understanding of the mixed and/or oxy-moronic messages men face in their daily lives. I feel that certain emotions are NOT gender specific but rather are personality specific. You can have a tender-hearted man and a stone-cold woman...so the difference to me is not so much gender oriented as personality oriented.
I have a documented sensitivity level in the 99th percentile...until my sensitivity was documneted at 33 years of age...I thought I was an abnormal male...because I felt life experiences so deeply...and other men didn't. However to learn that I was more sensitive than 99 people out of a hundred...that revelation left me feeling gifted rather than abnormal.
Thanks for the encouraging words Sylvyrwyng...WE male poets need to be encouraged in the world we live in today and your poetic voice has done just that.
Bless you
Lanny -
Awesome. I'm not a man either but I think men will enjoy this piece and admit...(although not to your face) this happens...great job
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Amen...lol...i really likd it and it's soooo true...i'm not a male but i know that this is true...it seems like this goes on every where...i wish it wasn't like this but i'm just a person in a world of billions so i don't really count...lol...great poem...Anna
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Bravo sis!
I do believe you said it perfectly. Society has a way of portraying men to be tough and women vulnerable....why? It's all in the conditioning of times since past. Well today is a new time and a new day. Men can show emtoion and woman can be as tough as most men if not more so at times. Why must we all be labeled by our sex and then expected to behave in a certain manner just because that is how it has always been? Yes a I believe a man can be tough and still show his emotion. Just as a woman can be feminine and still be tough. You can be more than one without changing who your are, instead it allows you to show more of who you are by being able to show the diversity within you to be a multitude of things.
Well Done!
Blessings
celticmoon -
good
Sylv, I would really like to give the great credit that the intent of the piece shows. it is very laudable and I greatly enjoyed the nature of the piece, not only because man has been hobbled by soceity than blamed for its problems, but the Christian man and values even more. I do think the entire piece could apply to more then just man or the situation you're talking about here. I believe in standing for beliefs and my belief in GOd is formost. I also believe we need to apply this to our current president as I think he is under so much fire from the left and God hatters, because he is a Christian. Thanks for a great write on my friend and I'll send you the applaus for content alone. image and Visions. Ps this is the third one today I've read that have God at the heart and center of them. -
you tell em. men have been suppressed for too long. do this do that, be this way and then be that way. its too confusing. good writing. keep it going.
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I think you did an excellent job bringing your point across in this poem. Very nicely written. Good job!
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well my dear sylvyrwyng...my treasured group participant
just thought i'd come by and see what this featured piece was all about...and well, this was a great way to start my day off. I personally thank you for this poem and the caring and insightful view ... very glad that one of our inner struggles is not lost on some women.
the flow and ease of this poem and the subject matter all come together quite nicely...
very much appreciative -
Your poem was beautiful and i loved the message expressed at the end... it kept me intrested i can't wait to read the rest...
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I was reading what that one critic wrote, about the rhyming scheme, and I don't really agree. I love the rhyme, and about that forth stanza, I think if you tried to rhyme subltle with something, it might sound too forced. I could see maybe rhyming something with abuse, as I use that word frequently
Awesome poem though, I'm tired of reading such mundane pieces. I'll be adding you to my favorites list. -
good
You kept me interested in this write good job...... -
you did a very good job. it was like a steady flow. not forceful, and you make a point also. good job!
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Bravo!Bravo!Bravo!
I worked with incarcerated males for years and the damage done to them as young boys is shameful. It is an honor to have a man cry, accept his humanity and the love we all deserve!
Let us all stop putting little boys in boxes and we will have fewer men behind bars!!! -
This is a really nice poem. You hardly ever see it from the 'flip side'. You know, how men get abusde, can't show anything, this is a great poem. Great job.
Aimee -
This is something frequently commented on by people concerned about socialisation and social learning, I think you get the point across very well and you also raise the question in my mind - what do you expect your men to act like when they do find their feet if all they have ever done is supress their natural feelings? Are you surprised so many of them are angry?
As you have featured this poem I am assuming you would some comment on the style of the poem, if you don't want crit feel free to ignore what comes next - it is, after all, only my opinion:
The flow and feel of the poem might be better if the lines were of similar length of if each stanza had the same kind of rhytm to it. For example, stanza 2 has quite a long first line "We have abused the common man" compared to the very short one in stanza 3 "Then we want him". The whole of stanza 3 is short and doesnt seem to fit as well as the other stanzas, as it breaks up the flow right in the middle of the poem.
I might also suggest that the rhymes could be more consistant, you have almost a 1,1,2,2, pattern, but it is broken in places, such as with stanza 4 where the first 2 lines might be expected to rhyme, but they end with "subtle" and "abuse" which are not at all similar.
Anyway, as I said, feel free to ignore the crit, i think the poem gets its point across well and I think you have used words which convey a good strong idea. The comments on style/structure are purely my own opinion.
LB -
Yes, we'd like to save the tiger and to stop it killing lambs...
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A grand write. The flow is natural, not forced at all.
While I do appreciate this write and what it is saying, having had been under the said "abuse", I am now free from such things. I will express what I feel, as seen in what I have posted here. My only boundary is defined by my God and Lord.
In my Christ I am free to be who He made me to be.
Thanks for the write! God bless!
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it is indeed a strange time of changing roles and contrasting desires
partners wish strange things of their mates
strong emotion and motion one minute childlike whispers the next
we can all handle it with the proper amount of love and respect
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