Tears fall from my glass eyes.
They cascade down my porcelain cheeks.
They run down the middle of of my bright red unmoving mouth.
Sobs echo inside my pale porcelain body.
My cold, black, hard heart floats inside me.
I'm afraid for you to hug me.
Because if you do I'll become your broken doll.
Author notes
just felt like writing this one down
Written November 27th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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i absolutley adore this poem
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loved it,doll parts,who wouldnt
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Two words . . . spell check.
It isn't that hard you know, just click on the little box that says 'please check my spelling' and it really does improve the poem.
Although the idea behind this poem is good (as are your descriptions) I think you need to do some work on the length of your lines . . . read this out loud to yourself . . . so you really think it flows well?
Keep writing . . . I know I might sound harsh . . . but you really are a good poet . . . you just need to work on your technique (as do we all)
Pol
Edited on Dec 01, 10:23 p.m. because ''. -
Its sad, but it is very good as well! I love your describtion and word flow
Love<3
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