I choose not to comprehend those who guard their house
with a white picket fence,
even though it is chipped around the edges
to reveal the sodden timber.
Mother nature and the elementals
will always expose what needs to be,
so why this hassle to hide away from the world if
life is imminent?
Just like the photo of a loved one
embraced in a frame, keeps emotions contained within.
A small structure, less than a pinpoint to the earth,
cannot maintain perfection.
Difference and change will take its toil,
while black and white dreams of a faded photograph
make an unwary appearance.
The clothes introduced by our ancestors
only encourage this isolation of the truth,
and what is concrete.
Still,
if one fence was dismantled and one photo left loose,
the surplus truth would still never see
naked as beauty in society, nor emotions as success.
And the reason shall be left unsaid.
Whereas I,
I have been burned, and I loved again,
I lost, I found, I cried and I laughed,
removing my frames and doors that have shielded me from feeling,
and from living new experiences.
I danced in the rain and told the heavens about my day,
and I stood alone. I’m encircled now,
but there is still one space remaining…
Author notes
This is quite different to most of the stuff I write. So please let me know what you think. Should I try this again, or stick to the old stuff?
Written November 27th, 2005
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Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I think people feel safer behind their white picket fences or masks that they wear. This is truly an excellent poem
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alliteration brings beauty and power..this write has major power..imagery flows along through the words and makes the read wonderful..great job
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I certainly think you should try this again. It may be a little wordy in parts but the overall message is very strong. Keep writing.
Edited on Dec 04, 8:34 because ''. -
this is really good. it is kind of different to everything else i have read and i really like it.
it flows really well and was beautiful to read. its an excellent poem and you should be proud!
also, thanks a lot for your comment on my poem 'thinking about you'!!!!!!!!! -
What a great poem I really liked the second stanza. Keep it up.
Edited on Nov 30, 11:36 because ''. -
(Just like the photo of a loved one
embraced in a frame, keeps emotions contained within.
A small structure, less than a pinpoint to the earth,
cannot maintain perfection.
Difference and change will take its toil,
while black and white dreams of a faded photograph
make an unwary appearance.) i like this alot i thought it was great because if you look at it right it has many different meanings ne ways nice job keep writing -
Definitely good
I like this poem, definitely try it again next time you write. The whole white picket fence and framed photograph metaphor was great. ^_^ Keep it up.
[J o e y] -
A bit formal, but I like this. I think experimenting in style is a wonderful thing to do, and a great way to learn. This is a graceful, evokative poem. If you feel yourself drawn to this form of expression go for it! this is a great write.
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I like this, I hvaen't read any of your old stuff, I think, but I like this piece, it's really interesting I'd say write both this and your old style
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1 - 9 of 9
8 old applause
