(her- italics, me- no italics)
"Want to share a glass of red wine?"
We sip one shared glass of red wine
meeting the gaze
on the opposite sides of the rim
I feel her probe
and give in, drowning in her presence.
wine, sweet and tantalizing
bringing wishes out of me
in my mind, a candle flickersreturning moments that I've dreamed
of moments not yet spent with you.
Lily rose colored reflections
young, vying, imbibe the essence
rim-touched lips meetin passion;
can we survive this feelingafter the unleashed heat
lingers beyond the moment?
Smooth as silk
on wings of love
underneath a new moon
landing one sweet lyrical kiss, a taste, forever...
“Red wine talks crap, doesn’t it?”
“My racing heart and shortness of breath
say otherwise.”
“I’ll pour some more…!”
Author notes
There are two acrostics in there- \wbiro\ and \Lyrical Soul\, each written for the other...
Written November 25th, 2005
In a list
- Erotica- Soft and Humor • next in list
- Acrostic • next in list
- Love Era- Collaborations • next in list
- * Lyrical Soul • next in list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Haha okay, I'll try that next time
--> 
!!! -smiles as much as she can-
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awe Piids, just pop open a bottle of red-wine and start flirting That's what I did. Thanks for the read and the compliment...but smile would ya?
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thank you, Piids, that is a fine compliment!
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wish I could write like you do
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Thank you my friend. I hope you are feeling better.
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thank you, Rowan! Pour some more wine, indeed!
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Oh, this is good! I love the imagery of sharing a glass of wine, and the freedom in the write! Very sensual, a wonderful collaboration!
“I’ll pour some more wine…”...and so you should! Beautiful job!
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Thank you, Angela! Expect the unexpected...
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A Great poem, and I love the background..perfect as always!
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Ummm, Robin...I think ya already did...
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too funny Wanda...and yeah, me being his sister an all (for those of you who don't know, he's my A.P. brother, not my real one ) I'm thinking maybe we need to upgrade our relationship to kissing cousins!
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'...We sip one shared glass of red wine and meet on the opposite sides of the rim I feel her presence I give in, and drown in it...' Sighhh... Lovely imagery in this piece, you two...in my mind's eye, I saw the implied distance between the two drinking...a split~screen visual of each drinking from their own glass...while thinking of the other...wonderfully done acrostics, as well...Now then, here's the aspirin & cold compresses...
& Wayne, what are you doin', gettin' your sister drunk??? roflmao I cracked up when I read your 'fubar' comment, too...hehehe 
Well done, you two...seems like I missed out on a lot last night... Wander
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Thanks Muddy!!
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This is wickedly good...the other side of the rim was so vivid for me...I could almost taste it...wonderful writing, writing like this could cause many to become whino's....Peace Muddy
and may you glass always be half full..
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What? What did I do? Red wine??? Oh yeah! I had some of that last night! Wow Wayne, maybe you should get me drunk more often You did a lovely job of combining our poetry to eachother and our IM conversation and putting it together on this lovely page. Now, I need to go find some aspirin and a cold compress 
~Lyrical
Edited on Nov 25, 8:16 because ''. -
thank you, rose, glad you enjoyed our wine piece!
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Chianti!
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thanks, Swt, and for the grammar catch you IM'd me!
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thanks, Gothic Beauty, glad you enjoyed our wine piece!
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Oh yes, the 'sipping from opposite sides of the glass...' the comedy of the physics of this hit me in the middle of the night, especially with a glass not filled to the brim and only one inch across!
Change it? Nada! This is one of those rare scenes that only 'work' in poetry! (note many readers did not mention the conundrum!) For most readers their mind's eye will envision a glass a foot across and the sipping working perfectly... others will employ 'suspended disbelief'- that which is used when watching a 'B' movie with bad special effects...
So, considering this deep insight(and agonizingly original, thank you, aspirin, please!), you would not go and ask the next poet, 'How can thoughts smell like lilacs and tumble in the breeze?' !
Edited on Nov 25, 6:16 because ''. -
Notes on the three quality suggestions above:
The 'shortness breath' will be corrected to 'shortness of breath' (thanks SwtAsWine!) How did that happen? Typical editing fubar! It was 'short breath', then 'shortness' seemed better, but then I forgot to add 'of'...
After quick deliberation I deem the two 'moments' and two 'wines' OK- sometimes redundancy can be used for effect, and in the moments, and sometimes redundancy is a small price to pay for a beautiful line, as in 'I'll pour some more wine'...! (compare that to 'I'll pour some more.' Sure, better in conversation, but not very poetic! -
Great job at describing the words to the reader. You made it easy for me to paint a picture in my mind while I read this poem. Nice work keep it up!
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I can almost see you both sipping the wine ,and your poem flows sensual and intoxicating, however like the remark above, I would remove the last word (wine)it is not needed.
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the word "wine" in the last line seems redundant; you mention it two lines before so its probably unecessary and is upsetting the balance of the poem a bit for me. also, as Grossmutti, i am confused by the image of lips meeting on opposite sides of one glass... other than that, i liked very much. very subtle acrostic as well, something quite hard to pull off.
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this is refreshingly different very well done i love it! i loved the badkground because it goes well with the titile of the poem,keep penning.
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Sensual
Very sweet and touching. On the brink of love I have a suggest, in the second stanza you used the word "moments" twice, seems a little redundant. In the first stanza you "meet" on opposite sides of the rim, how can this be? How can you both drink from opposite sides? LOL, just being nitpicky, I suppose. It really is a lovely lyrical poem, and you both have done the acrostics beautifully.
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this is refreshingly different bro very very well done i love it! both You and Lyrical Soul have done well to make this flow as well as it does xx Cheryl
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before reading the poem: i loved the badkground because it goes well with the titile of the poem, it proves that you put great effort and thought into your poetry or poem
after reading the poem: keep on pouring the red wine if this poetry flows fron it, your poetry truly dances when dipped in red wine, so is it you or the wine???
i cant beleive i wasted all my applauses because i would have just given all of them to you today
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amazing the best read in a long while. truly unique, refreshing and inspirational. great imagery you have deep thoughts here lovely. i just love the subject based on. i have poems on momemt and i have tried red wine. wow! bring more of this write
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Lovely... I admit the very last line had me laughing
~Swt -
Kudos!! Refreshing, unique, inspirational...
Kudos to you both!! Awesome... beautifully orchestrated by you both... truly unique, refreshing and inspirational... Love the ending... touch of Chianti?? Awesome well done Two thumbs up!! Wishng you both much success in all of your endeavors And a Wonderous Holidays season
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the words you've used are brilliant, i love the way you end it.
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Well, Az, I've deduced that it must remain 'say' because both the heart and the breath are speaking! So they both 'say' not both 'says', and as for 'said', I'd rather have things in the present!
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yes, must tinker with it more, Az! Thanks!
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Purly prom ya two wrt.hic-up! Oh,cuss me! This was berry pretty.Nice work,you two winos.HA!~~~~sLUSEANN
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this was very unique and refreshing write from the both of you and i did take notice of the acrostics which are marvellously done while at the same time i do admit that i stumbled a bit when it came to the word say...so my question is this:
wouldn't it sound a bit better if you said says or even said?
Otherwise from that this is nice
Rae -
lovely
Wow. Great write. Wonderful word choice, wonderful subject, just a wonderful peice all together. THis is great. I really enjoyed it.
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