You say you're down and out
not happy in the least
you're a bit depressed
feel like a caged beast.
Don't depend on others
to lift you from this rut
you need to get yourself
up and off your butt.
No one can do it for you
they can't make you improve
unless you want to do it
you'll never be on the move.
Think of what you want to do
then strive to do it well
look to your inner self for help
to lift you of from this hell.
You can do it if you want to
there's no doubt at all in my mind
now get yourself together
and get up off your behind!
Author notes
Inspiration begins insides onself. Outsiders can help, but you have to want to get better, in order to get better.
Written November 24th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Pay It Forward by Cupcrazy.
600 points, ended November 14, 2006, 27 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your 100th poem by Loveandblessings2u.
975 points, ended March 16, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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I am really liking this poem
It has a great message.
Inspiration, indeed.
Great write, very enjoyable
Good luck in my contest.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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this is an inspirational kick-in-the-pants poem... it made me smile... the form and the rhyme are wonderfully done, congratulations on the bronze, it was well deserved
Keep writing
Polly
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This poem made me smile! Congratulations on the bronze trophy.
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Oh yeah this is so true I've been sitting in depression for so long as I'm sure you know from the depression poems I write and I finally just last week a matter of fact got up and said enough is enough I done with you depression I've been praying awhole lot and thanking God for what I have not thinking about what I've lost or don't have and even got a part-time job to keep me up and about this is a great write I needed this read this morning it just lets me know I'm doing the right thing thanks for such a write and Have a Happy Thanksgiving...
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Thank you for this truly wonderful poem entered into this contest! Its rhyming andflow were really great and I liked the positive message! Keep up the great work and lots of luck at judging!
*~Annie~*
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KOOOLIO!
THIS IS G R R E A T! True inspiring words, STRAIGHT UP! Great flow & very comfortable to read. Thank you for sharing
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This is such a wonderful poem and the best part is that every one on this site can get some value from the message it holds. Best of luck in this contest, Cathy
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Great inspiration her, and such truth in the words as well. Excellent flow and wonderful rhythm and rhyme. Thank you for this entry and good luck at judging!
Bunny
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oh my gosh, this is wonderful, this is so Laura, blunt and quite funny
thank you for entering, and for a laugh
good write -
Grannyeri are you going to enter my contest? Actors and Actresses. I would be honored to have you. Shancy Fayre.
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I really like this one, it's a wonderful message you are putting out. Alot of people with depression don't realise that by not doing anything they are making themselves feel worse. I had severe depression for awhile and didn't start getting over it until I forced myself to do something, anything really. Once a person "gets up and off their butt" everything starts to improve. You're putting out a positive message in a memorable form
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I love this!!! I used to work with my sister in law going door to door, and it was just me and her on the team, well I did not have a car at the time so we agreed that she would pick me up everyday and she would drive, so my money depended on her. Well she went through this thing that she called "depression", not to say that she wasn't, but she has a 4 year old to take care of, and I had my husband and two kids to support also. Well, she would lay in the bed all day and not work, which affected us both, I basically said what you said in your poem to her, to stop feeling sorry for herself and do something, she was upset about money but not doing anything to make any more. I like this though, I am glad thaat someone else feels the way I do when it comes to stuff like this, awesome poem!!
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nice nuggert
this was grest
honest
truely written
ide like to say - ok then... im on it....
but in truth
im kinda cumphy
a pig in shit... lol
i luv your message though
mint -
Great job.
Grannyeri, I believe you wrote this one just for my big butt!
LOL. I liked this. I need to have it made into a plaque. Shancy. -
VERY inpirational
tru dat!
Gran, this is an exceptionally inspiring write. You got it in there and say it with well chosen wording. The only thing I can add to this, is sometimes it helps with special friends that know how to motivate you and when...that can mean so much in the scheme of trying to become motivated..then again staying motivated is a whole other poem
I am impressed with this write and will be reading your other new ones very soon. Keep em coming !!
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inspirational
This is very truthful, because no matter how much people try and help you, you need to want to help yourself before your life will change. The only bit that sounds wrong to me is the word 'butt', but that's cos I'm a Brit! So overall a great read, good luck in the contest x -
Oh are you peppy
even a little preppy
this stiff upper lips
led British to slip.
Must we be positive
always searching for adjectives
wonderful, emphatic, chipper, idiotic
super positivity is psychotic.
Yet, I generally agree
rants though making free
don't really help me
even that I see.
Your write I'll try
to positive mentality vie
life's a circle dude
always revisiting my attitude. -
(You can do it if you want to
there's no doubt at all in my mind
now get yourself together
and get up off your behind!) hehe friggin hilarious and im not being sarcastic although it may seem like it i think it was all jus a lil bit humorous though if you look at it the right way hehehe wo thumbs up i like it keep up the good work..
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um... the rhyme scheme is uneven, and "to lift you from of this rut" isn't even a real sentence.
No one can do it for you
they can't make you improve
unless you want to do it
you'll never be on the move.
that sounds like something a third grader would write. haha maybe it was intentional.
if it was intentional.... that helps a little. -
I love the sentiment behind this and I agree with your message whole-heartedly. I know you havn't asked for crit, so feel free to ignore this, but as you have paid points to feature this piece I assume you want useful comment, so here goes:
I think the flow of the poem could be slightly improved by attending to the length of some of the lines, for example;
Don't depend on others
to get you out of this rut - To lift you from this rut
you need to get yourself
up and off your butt.
and maybe;
Think of what you want to do
then strive to do it well
look to your inner self for help
or you'll never get out of this hell. - or you'll never leave this Hell
There are a couple of other places I think you could improve the rhythm, but it's not really my place to say unless you want me to. let me know if you do want more of this kind of input. But do feel free to ignore me!
LB
Edited on Nov 24, 1:24 p.m. because ''. -
This is a beautiful poem that evinces hope for a better result in life's struggle,irrespective of the odds,that unveil itself on our way in this life.
Thank you for sharing this encouraging piece of poem with us on this forum. -
Nice job. These are true, true words of wisdom and sometimes people just need a reminder. Thanks for that.
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this was raly nice i love the line
Don't depend on others
to get you out of this rut
you need to get yourself
up and off your butt
that is so tru keep up the good wark sam out -
An encouraging poem. Sometimes someone needs to be told that they have the ability to do certain things and need to be pushed a little. A pleasure to read.
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You say you're down and out
not happy in the least
you're a bit depressed
feel like a caged beast.
Don't depend on others
to get you out of this rut
you need to get yourself
up and off your butt.
No one can do it for you
they can't make you improve
unless you want to do it
you'll never be on the move.
Think of what you want to do
then strive to do it well
look to your inner self for help
or you'll never get out of this hell.
You can do it if you want to
there's no doubt at all in my mind
now get yourself together
and get up off your behind!
Good words of wisdom. I love the ending phrase. It adds that extra humorous punch. -
I agree...you have to want to get better, in order to get better..Very good inspirational poem.Keep up the good work.
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