Standing there holding the hand of that little boy
The boy who was me twelve long years ago...
The boy who had been neglected and forgotten about...
The boy who just wanted someone to notice him....
Holding his hand, reassuring him everything was alright
Comforting him and standing by him like no one else had
Starring into his blue eyes that were filled with such pain
Being the voice that he didn't have, speaking for him.
To the man who left me, who was never there for me, my father:
Why did you leave me and cause me such grief in my life?
Why were you never there for me when I needed you most?
You say you love me, yet you never show me that love
To the one who got all the attention when I needed it, my brother:
I needed you to be the one who stuck up for me when no one else would
I wanted you to be the brother who cared and loved me
Why did all the focus have to be on you and not on me?
To the woman who will never understand what is happening, my mother:
Why do you seem to dump all of your worries onto me?
Why is it that all of your problems always become mine?
I just needed the mother who would comfort me, but you never did
To the man who left my life without a good-bye, Ian Graham:
I never got the chance to tell you that I loved you
I never got the chance to tell you that I wanted you to be my father
I still pray that time will go back so I can say that last good-bye
The death of so many people have influenced my life
My father, my brother, my mother, my mom's fiancé...
Overwhelming pain built up inside my heart
Unable to escape, just growing bigger and bigger....
Author notes
This fits into options 1, 3, and 5. Possibly 4 as well. I wrote this for my counselor who I went to for the first time today. This poem may not make sense to many of you as much as it does me. This is about something I've never realized until today and this poem really expressed my pain and emotion. If you don't get this poem and think it's complete crap, it's because you don't know who I am and what I've gone through.
Part 2: allpoetry.com/poem/1653519
Written November 23rd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- About sadness or...flower of poison by Danai.
300 points, ended November 29, 2005, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I can relate to this poem a lot because I have a mom that has never been there and a dad that doesn't understand me at all.
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*hugs* Tim I'm so sorry you had to go through this, I understand your father and mother part, yet again, like all of your writes, excellent, really makes me feel how you do. No, I don't believe anyone would have the nerve to call this crap, or the stupidity. It's amazing how well it feels to get out emotions in writing isn't it? (sighs) I am sorry you had to go through that, I hope that you are much better from November... doesn't THAT sound far far away?
*God Bless*
Sarah -
Well, you have quite the talent for one so young. This is amazing. Keep writing. I'm sorry for all your pain, but it makes you a better writer.It also makes you who you are today.
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Hey... thanks for reading this. I'd suggest to you reading part 2 just because it finishes up this poem and takes it more into a... hope point of view, I guess you'd call it. Thanks again for the trophy!
--Tim -
um....as i said this poem is not my type of poem but i was surprised by the emotions coming out of it.It has the aspect of an ode...and also a txisting concept that make it very original.Pain is my favourite subject to read and write so this made me like the poem even more.Congratulations!
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Oh Tim I love you!
Remember that I really care and you can talk to me about anything! I care....
Grace -
tim...
this is so sad... i almost cried 
but yeah i definitely understand what you mean in the stanza about your father:
To the man who left me, who was never there for me, my father:
Why did you leave me and cause me such grief in my life?
Why were you never there for me when I needed you most?
You say you love me, yet you never show me that love
my dad did the same thing. i can't imagine how much pain you've been through... anyone who can make it through all that must be strong. God bless you and remember Isaiah 43:2. it helps me, anyway. excellent write tim. best of luck. -
I, too, can understand that helping. Hey, as He says- He gives us people that He helps through! "Let man sharpen man."
We can't do it by ourselves. We always need others' help. I think it's great that you have someone you can talk to about those things. -
Thanks for your amazing comment, Justin! I really appreciate you reading this poem... I have part 2 written, but I'll probably post it tomorrow or something.... Thanks for your prayers as well... I'm trying to sort things out with this counselor (or life coach, as she calls herself). I've only gone in once, but it really seems to be helping. God bless you.
--Tim -
Woah, dude. Woah. This was so full of emotion- every form of emotion. Really, I am just so taken back because I'd not ever known these things before. My heart truly, truly, truly does go out to you.
As you know, you're in my prayers always and forever. Bro's gotta' do that, eh? He will bless you more than you can ever imagine someday. Man, oh man, will it be ever worth it then.
You know, there is a quote that sometimes helps ease things a bit. I figure maybe you'll like it, too. It used to be up on my author's page.
"There is no pain that Heaven cannot heal."- Thomas Moore
So true. God bless you, Tim. May your holidays be amazing anbd wonderful.
- Justin -
WOW
Tim....
All I can say is Wow... you did an amazing job. there was a lot of feeling and emotion in your words. I loved it. You are a very talented writer. Keep writing. Great job, and thanks for sharing. Peace to ya
~Beth
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