I found it once a long time ago.
From then on it found me.
I tasted the thrill and was caught.
From then on it was all I would need.
I no longer needed my good friends,
my dreams or my very life.
Give me another shot in the arm.
Go ahead, cut me with the knife.
I sold all of my possessions
and others that were not mine.
I traded all I could ever have
for one more sip of the wine.
Said it was I, that was in control.
No one made the decisions for me.
Till I tasted the thrill and was caught.
From then on, it was all I could see.
I'm left with nothing, but a wooden box,
and visions I've learned to fear.
Why couldn't I see all I'd lose.
In the syringe, it was Crystal Clear!
Author notes
Written November 23rd, 2005
Some one close to you dies of an over dose
A contest entry
- What you know of! Options!!! Prewritten allowed if applicable. by danceswsquirrels.
650 points, ended September 12, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Dark by candy-coated-razors.
650 points, ended September 22, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Addictions by LOVELYmurder.
600 points, ended March 24, 41 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Great job.
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This is very good. I like the ending but it's not as hopeful as I was hoping for. I like your descriptions, they aren't over done or drawn out. You did a great job on portrayal of addiction. This was simple but to the point. Good job and good luck.
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I love this piece... you did an excellent job of portraying an addicts viewpoint...
hugggss
becca
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I like this. It hit very close to home, I've had a few friends die of an overdose. However, it doesn't flow right. It's like there is something stopping you from telling everything, like your afraid of writing your feelings. Overall, it's a good piece. Thank you for your entry.
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Great write, i really liked this keep up the awesome work. i wish you the best of luck in my contest and thank you for entering this piece. i really liked the lines:
"I'm left with nothing, but a wooden box,
and visions I've learned to fear.
Why couldn't I see all I'd lose.
In the syringe, it was Crystal Clear! "
*~*bee*~* -
quite a slow start, but it gets better as it goes on i dont think the title suits much but thats your choice souly, i wish you the best of luck in the future and thanks for your entry
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This was really good! reminds me of my mom...keep up the great work! oh... and i love the background it fits perfect with the poem
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meh.. I could see where SOMEONE would think this was bland.. but I call it simple writing... and that isn't bad... my sisters favorite type of poetry is simple.. it allows you to feel and relate without haveing to think overly much... the second to last stanza, your rhyme was me... It made it a little bit awkward to read but over all this was great!
I enjoyed how you described what happens to some one who becomes addicted to something and you made a smooth transition to death with metaphor. the last line was awesome!
J~~ -
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I fixed that line
Thanks for bringing that to my attention, The Shaker
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In my arrogant opinion there is not much substance. It goes from beginning to end so quickly with so very little. Having little in-between end and beginning can be useful if there were tantalizing content but it is just a little bland.
As I reread it I come to the same conclusion although you have vague content- it just could be so much more- the topic is of interest. Don't let me get you down, despite my regrets, it is obvious you are a poet. -
This was great and sad.
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AWSOME
That was awsome agian!!! -
Wow Shaker, I had no idea. We all have our demons to face. I know that you mean honey. It's hard to overcome.... I will be here for you though. Just say the word. great write as usual.
Much love,
Tali
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Wow this is a very honest piece and very full of emotion. I enjoyed reading it. Good luck with the contest!
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you gave me the chills with this one. having lost five at the least, but closer to nine or ten in the past two years due to the effects of crystal meth and alcohol, i could really relate to this. i have been clean for a bit now and am so glad. it is not an easy thing for some and an impossibility for others. i am glad that i am one of the lucky ones and have a sister who has helped me greatly. well done on this. vilanger
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Excellent write.
I have traced your poems back as far as I could, & the first poem that you wrote on this site was, " Crystal Clear ". If I am correct. Anyway there's a lot to learn from this poem. It's is so honest, & I must applaud you on that alone. There's millions of people who can relate to this poem. & if just one person learned something from this poem, if it touched juct one person's heart, then this beautiful write should make you proud. You are one amazing poet. -
Excellent Writing
This is very hard to read, to take in; but it presents an important lesson. --Ellis -
Wow this is amazing!! Keep it up and good luck!!
~dramaqueen469~ -
Beautifully written again with tears of sorrow in the night, yet you captured me with sheer delight,
your work is skilled cutting through each heart,
How can I thankyou and words are not enough from the end to the start.
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This is such a sad poem, I hope you either have or are trying to quit. This is a hard thing to go through. It's so much more difficult then just putting the bottle down and never picking it back up. I wish you luck and My happiness, my friend.
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This is a very good and honest write. The flow is nice and the language well chosen.
Myself personally i've never dealt with these sort of problems but I have been close to people who have. Addictions are selfish things. Not only do drugs demand so much from their victims... but they turn their users into selfish people themselves. I've seen how the priorites can slip away... how things that once truly mattered are put on the back burner in favor of the all mighty quest getting another fix. ... And it's just an awful thing to watch.
Yeah... a very nice first piece. Welcome to AP.
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