a washer man once lived in a village
with a donkey...
every single day the
washer man would routinely load his bundle of clothes
on the donkey's back
and would make him cross the river...
the donkey grew fed up of this taxing daily
grind of carrying the load
he started exploring of a way out of this
such that he could possibly escape
from the washer man's clutches...
many days passed by
one night the donkey was left tied up in the
backyard of the washer man's house...
unexpectedly, to the pleasant surprise of the donkey
he realized that the washer man had apparently
forgotten to tie him up that day...
the donkey was thrilled to bits
he looked around slyly
it was the dead of
night with a pin drop silence
except for the distant chirp of the crickets...
the donkey that had been looking for such an opportune moment
slipped out slowly through the courtyard
and once outside trotted away to freedom with lightning speed...
sprinting away, when he had reached a considerable distance
he stopped and settled down to relax...and soon he dozed off...
however, no sooner had he done so
he was rudely woken up
he felt as if someone
had sharply struck in his ribs
he got up in haste...
he feared that the washer man had caught up with him
instead he saw two burly thieves holding a
huge bundle of stolen goods...
one of them dumped the bundle on his back
and flogged him along with a stick...
the donkey was now feeling sorry for himself
but then what could he do now?...
after traveling for a long time
the donkey felt very hungry
he was hoping that the thieves
would feed him
but as soon as they reached their destination
they shooed him away...
now the donkey was feeling miserable and hurt
over the next few days his situation had become unenviable...
just about anyone would exploit him and make him carry their burden
yet, while some threw some food in front of him
most would simply hit him with sticks in return of his service...
the donkey was now in a dilemma
he mused and mulled over the situation for a long time
and then ultimately decided to return to the washer man...
Author notes
Here donkey is ME and the washerman is HE....
Prompt...
"Throw it away, forget yesterday, we'll make the great escape.." -The Great Escape
A contest entry
- Animal Lover's Contest - in honor of Debilynn! by kareneisenlord.
900 points, ended March 20, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What makes you passionate? by TabbyCat.
900 points, ended March 24, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotional! by Glass Heart.
525 points, ended April 1, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quotes! by LuckyBlackCat.
450 points, ended May 17, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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i love the twist on the quote.... never expected a poem using this quote would be like this.
nice job. and thanks for entering
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That's very interesting! I really liked it. Thank you and good luck.
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This is a clever take on the parable of the prodigal son, with the same message...which is a good one. I liked the story, and appreciate the entry into my contest.
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Wow - this reminds me of an "Aesop's Fable"! I guess the moral of the story, to teach children, might be to be careful what you want or try to leave behind you because the situation could always be worse. Still, one can't blame the poor donkey for wanting a better life. This was a sad story, yet true. Hopefully, the washer man appreciated his sweet donkey more and treated him better after the donkey returned to him! Thank you for submitting this story. It was a very good read! I suppose that this was a good illustration of why so many people put up with abusive situations, because they realize it could be worse. That is, if the donkey were human - but then some humans are donkeys. lol's
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Very good!!!!!!!
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This is a very clever parable and very powerful statement on exploitation of any kind. Sometimes, sadly, the devil that we know is better than the devil we don't know.
Thank you for your entry in honor of our Debilynn.
- joanne -
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wow
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very good
a clever little fable!
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This is a great lesson!!!! oh my gosh!!! and the way you described it was fantastic!!! I hope to read more poetry from you!! this was a great poem!
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There is definitely a moral here and cute to have related it to a donkey. Interesting writing and I like it. Thank you for entering.
Storm -
hummmm -
nice fable. though, i hate to admit it, but was looking more for poetry...but hey! i am concidering giving honourary points- so donna give up!
Turtles! -
Hey great job,... and its true when we stray away from our Lord and side with the other side its a very uncaring cold side
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Great story. You say the donkey represents you and your return to your god, but anyone who reads this can relate to it in some way. As I was reading it, Ithought of someone who stays in a relationship and eventhough the other person abuses and disrespects them, they keep going back to them because they feel safe, it doesn't matter if it is the right place for them or not. Wonderful write.
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Wonderful!
You were born because God put you here on earth so we can be inspired with your words! Happy Birthday, dear poet and thank you for this story (which I loved). -
Well, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY FROM ME!!!!
I truly enjoyed this... A tale full of truth and morality. The grass is not always greener on the other side; I do agree. This is so very well written... Quite an interesting take on the quote in particular. This piece is very captivating with great use of imagery and detailed description. You have done an amazing job with this, I truly enjoyed the read. Thank you so much for entering, and Best of luck in all that you do! ~~
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many days passed by
one night the donkey was left tied up in the
backyard of the washer man's house...
unexpectedly, to the pleasant surprise of the donkey
he realized that the washer man had apparently
forgotten to tie him up that day...
that was confusing. one night he was tied up, realized he wasnt tied.
interesting story. different. overall, good job with writing this. enjoyed the read. good luck in the contest.
blu -
I love the story, it's a classic moral tale, in the style of Aesop. Very sweet. If you want crit I would suggest that it might read better if presented as a short story rather than with the lines set out like a poem. The meaning of it follows continually from line to line and because of this it reads more like prose than poetry. I imagine this is because of the translation process, and in Hindi it probably reads as a beautiful poem, but unfortunatly, in the English translation it might be easier to read if presented as a block of continuous prose.
Just a thought.
LB -
Great poem keep on writing
What a parable and great flow of understanding to life's dilemmas. Even so keep writing and more shall be revealed.... thanks for sharing this with me! -
To Just Fred, the Octogenarian: I am very suspicious of the prices you quote, especially the currency - new pence. I believe that fity pence was ten shillings in 1927 (or perhaps 1928) and that you would have bougth a good deal more than a pound of sugar for that amount of money. I have to question the authenticity of your memory in this case. I would be prepared to wager that you actually bought a much larger bag and that the damage you did to the boy called stuart - if your memory of his name is correct - was far more than you have admiitted to. You were a naughty rascal and I think that you should confess now, before it is too late for redemption. I know a handmaiden of the lord who is likely to visit the wrath of god on you. Even so, I liked your comment.
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Beautiful write with a strong message .
For the none religiouse better the bugger you know than the one you dont know.
For the donkey he didn't relise he was in heaven till he wentto hell for a while .
Thanks for sharing -
ROFL... what a true parable! Incredibly funny and truthful to the maximum extent. I love reading stuff like this. A cleverly turned lesson on how the grass is not always greener on the other side. I hope this beast makes it back to the washer man who I am sure misses him as well.
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