Fiend Masochist

I'm not crazy, I swear. If I were I wouldn't have killed myself, would I? It was the voices! SHUT UP! I can't hear you, I repeat to myself. I hear you , I hear you, I HEAR YOU ALREADY! What the fuck is your problem? I try to please you and you betray me! That's not a friend, that's a fucking psycho case. You took advantage of me. Good-bye, *good-bye*. I'm not yours! I was never yours, I was mine. I fucking lost you to a goddamn psycho case?!

I'm bleeding, why am I fucking bleeding? *I didn't cut myself*, you cut me. You cut me with your razor sharp heart. Right through my veins and into my heart. I'm *bleeding* on what you call your precious carpet. I'm not a fake, I'm real. I don't need you, I don't need anyone. You killed yourself, you're dying. I'm dying. Take me away from this horrible place! I pray to you, my savour, my darkest warrior, take me away. *Kill* me now. Please. I beg of you!

Touch me, take me away. I'm not *alive*, I'm dead! Why can you see me? I am not real, I do not exist. I am invisible, a vapor, a dream, a spiritual being that haunts this place! You cannot see me, for I am invisible, imaginary, fake. Let me live just one *last* time! Let me live to the last, to the fullest, I *need* your help! Help me, please. I beg you!

You stole my hope! You stole my future! WHY! I did everything for you, I killed myself for you. I slaved myself for your happiness, what do you do? You abandon me. I'm dying inside, I'm bleeding to death. I wish someone would make a map of broken hearts, sliced through by razor claws. I tried, I tried for you. Goodbye, my heart. Goodbye my love! Fiend Angelical! Romeo and Juliet! My only love sprung from my only hate, too early seen unknown and known too late. Prodigious love it is to me, that I must love a loath'ed enemy!

The world doesn't care, why should you? Are you any different? Wimp. I crave to hear your voice just once more, my last breath is coming now. Quick...hurry....I need you...

Your lips speak the truth of a *serpent*. You lie, you liar. I cannot trust you. You betrayed me. You liar, you *fucking* liar. How dare you. Betray me? I dare say you better not. You expect the world to snap like a rubber band at your feet, you misunderstand. I am not a rubber band, I am your master. I am the adrenalin that keeps you going. I am the poison that haunts your blood, I am the one that will stab you like Julius Caesar. I am the black death that will sweep through you like a blade made from animal skin.

You are not my piece de restistance, I'm the predator here. I'm the one that fucking died, can't you fucking respect me like I *respected* you. You, who killed me. Who murdered me off, how do you *live* with yourself? How do you deal with the guilt that haunts you?

You serpentine. You must have the serous of venom in your life. How do you *live* with the way things are? You idealist. Not everything is *idealistic*. I am not. Are you? What about you? CAN ANYONE *HEAR* Me?...I am lost. I am scared...can you find me? Away, dark one. Away! My assassin, I see you. Do not hide, I fear your touch. Your everlasting ways. Hail! The archain angel! Hail my soul! Those last breathes, those sacrilege seconds of dotting swollen I’s and crossing T’s like crucifixes…why were they your last? Where were your fingers last night? Not on my lips…not in my hair…not stained with ink and blood…not on some bleeding, smiling *trigger*!


*Hell, my darkest crimson life! Take me away...fiend angelical. You evil, evil, worthless excuse for a creature! Go away...go away...leave me.