Moon, oh Moon follow her wherever she goes,
Wrap her with sheen if cold breeze blows.
She痴 a stranger in that land; miles away,
If she's lost, show her the way with your rays.
Each night go and convey her that I知 fine,
I知 looking after myself and properly I do dine.
Promise me, you would never let the secret out,
That I知 missing her and it痴 hard to live without.
You池e my last hope, pleading you looking up in the sky,
I camouflage my emotions and say it with a deep sigh,
Tell her I知 incomplete without my precious half,
I love her immensely; please stress this on my behalf.
~~~~*~~~~
Author notes
I wrote this for my wife when she was away...
Written November 22nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Inspired by the Moon by marmalade.
300 points, ended September 18, 2006, 40 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Loving Spouse by EasyMoneySleeping.
525 points, ended June 16, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [Sailor Moon] by whiterabbit..
300 points, ended November 19, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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this is a really beautiful poem and I really really like it a lot. Thanks so much for entering this. It's wonderful.
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Oh this is so pretty and romantic.
Very beautifully expressed, Mina.
Your wife must have enjoyed this poem.
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Great
Thanks for the entry and this is a very good poem. I know when I am away from my wife, I feel so alone and often times I write poetry for her.
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Wonderfully romantic, thank you for entering
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pure beauty.
I love this deeply... it's so true, also! I feel this way whenever my love is away, and it makes me happy to see that someone other then myself knows how precious the moon really is, it carries all our secrets and wishes and dreams. It will guide you to the light you can only find in darkness.
good job
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great
very well written.it makes me recall the story of movie baghban.its so tough to live without a loving partner.with breath you feel his empty column in life.an exhibitor of your talent -
I must say you have one lucky wife here on the receiving end of a wonderful poem - it is a great tribute to missing your precious half , your wife- very well written
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Hi this is Parminder and i have to say is that not only me who has talent ,you have aswell and this poem reminded me of something but i forgot lol
Parminder kaur -
This is an honest expression; and what is honest is always beautiful, I believe! The poem has much more than the exquisite rhythm and rhyme - it brings out the subtle conrast between love and loneliness, and the uncanny mixture of joy and pain... Very well written, indeed.
Best,
Saurabh. -
Beauty revealed on 2nd read...
Oooo, nice picture, mina... now the first read the reader doesn't get it at all, then the last line reveals what it is all about, then the reader reads it again and then WHAM! the beauty of your poem just explodes! Class A poem! -
ah...so beautiful !
i think this is the first love poem by u tht i have read
simple n elegant
n tht too whn m in such a romantic mood.............
wah
keep writing
time nikaal ke aur padhoongi but abhi nahi
gotta rush
bye -
Dear Mina,
This is absolutely wonderful... so lovely, so simple and so effective... your other half is going to love it...
It touched me so deeply... Yet another heart warming poem by you...
All the best in the contest dear... and dont be sad... s !!!
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Oh wow mina, you are such a romantic, and poet of creative skill. I like thank you.
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I have never heard for better idea, to send message by moon. You are an awsome poet mina.
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hi,
This reminded me of my cousin sis, POrchi's elder sis, she is always kida obsessed over sending messages through the moon
anyways.. this was such a beautiful poem... I'm sure ure wife would luv to read it!
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Good mood created by such a wonderful graphic and background; however, the poetry itself is very nice. Wonderful. ONe runs out of new adjectives to convey how one feels after reading it. I thought "How sweet, to love someone that much." I think you idea of the moon and how you use it is new. Most of us stare at it, but you ask it to "Wrap her with sheen"; I really like that line. Walt.
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Simply - beautiful.
~Sonja~ -
Nice, kind, and beautiful. You can tell this was written with truth behind everyword, not forced like some. Goodjob!
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Dig it
Love the rhyme
love the picture
love the backround.
It was like a 3 course meal. -
nice beutiful poem.you stretched your imagination with the moon to convey your love to her...i loved it
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Aww what a wonderful melody you have here.. I can sense the love and loneliness.. Take Care, Whisper
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This was very sweet. I like the way it flowed.
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I no only read sadness in this letter but also splendour between words
amazingly beautiful.. soft and still u have conveyed the best. Very well done and thanks for the special entry
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Awww, what a wonderful emotional Love poem my friend..it is hard to be apart from the loved one..distant love never been easy..I loved this part:
Each night go and convey her that I知 fine,
I知 looking after myself and properly I do dine.
That's real love..very nice job mina..
ps: Is someone in Love? lol -
When lovers are apart, in different locations, I guess the moon could be go between as in this verse. Unique idea - well written.
Edited on Nov 22, 5:32 p.m. because ''. -
A cute and sad love poem but very well written. I like the first line especially, it really draws the reader in. Great work, thanks for sharing!
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wonderful
beautiful poe I really like this part.......Each night go and convey her that I知 fine,
I知 looking after myself and properly I do dine.
Promise to me, you would never let the secret out,
That I知 missing her and it痴 hard to live without.
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