The wave of Silent Darkness
Seeks to over come you.
The day it does
You fall to your knees,
As your savior above
awaits to hear your pleads.
They never come...
Your drowning in the everlasting Darkness.
Never calling out a name
or seeking help.
The wave of Darkness
pulls you under.
You don't fight it,
You don't bother.
The Darkness in your hearts is too powerful,
for you to fight.
Others watch
Not seeing the problem
As you countinue to go under.
With the wave of Darkness,
Hidden from them in your heart.
Author notes
I had written this poem around last Easter, it was when that Tsunami happened. At my church, they were saying that a Tsunami isnt just something made out of actuall waves and that some people do have their very own Tsunami in their heart. I found that insperational and this poem is the result.
Written November 21st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very well written piece deep and thought provoking. I liked the imagry that this brought to mind. The flow was wonderful and was its rhythm, great write. Keep your pen forever flowing!
Bunny
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Very Good
Wow, fox-child, very good and deep I like your style. Keep up the good work and welcome to AP -
Wow, this poem is pretty interesting. You can interpret it in so many ways, which adds to its brilliance. I love it. Keep it up, good luck on all your future poems.
xRapunzelx -
Thank you for your comment on "Remembered As Before." I decided to take a look at some of your work, and of course, picked the dark piece.
I love it, simply beautiful. I have long suffered from multiple "tsumanis" in my heart. Painful, they are. Drowning, can't breathe... Anyway, thanks for this lovely piece!
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Actually, That line was suppost to be
'The Darkness in your heart is too powerful' but it cut it off for soem reason, or I just typed it wrong.
Hm.... I like that but the last line I just don't like for some reason. ._.; Don't know why though.
Thank you very much for applauding my poem and leaving a comment. God Bless You. ^-^ -
Welcome
I would like to welcome you to the site and thank you for commenting on my author's page
. I really enjoyed all the concepts you placed within your poem. The tsunami is a powerful enemy, natural both in the water and the human heart.
Constructive Criticism:
"The Darkness in your ears is too powerful,"
I think this section could be revised to say:
"The unseen power consumes
your fight.
Others walk past
unaffected, nonpercieving
As you're swallowed by shade.
The wave of darkness rages
inside the fainting heart." <---- What do you think?
I will applaud this poem for the idea that faith will be combatted even when we are in a crowd. Good write. Be Blessed
Edited on Nov 22, 1:35 p.m. because ''.
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