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I Try

I write to vent,
   So I may feel content.
I write to get down my thoughts,
   So I know what I once thought.
And now all I can write is all this darkness.
   Why can I feel that sense of happiness.
I feel so dead, yet I am still alive.
   Trying to make people see that I still Try.
Try to be what I once was, Upbeat, Happy, Joyful.
   But now I am down, sad, and I am full of pain.
My tears, streaming down my face like rain on a summer night,
   Warm and wet, falling off my face to take flight.
So what made me this way?
   It is the question I ask myself everyday.
I have lost so much, I have lost to many lives.
   So why should I stay strong, why should I try.
Always in the end I get nothing, no one.
   So why not take my life, why don't I just chute the gun.
Whats holding me back? There is no one.
   Just myself, and still I am not good enough.

Author notes


Written November 21st, 2005

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Comments


  • your angers a gift
    December 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thats good to hear...I'm not really sure how religion makes people feel better...but if it works...then I'm all for it...glad you feel more upbeat...are you going to enter that "Execl Awards"? You should...your writing is excellent...I myself probobly won't enter that because...well I live in Oklahoma...so thats a pretty long drive...but oh well...anyways...again...glad your feeling better...take care...and keep writing...


  • Dreamer09
    December 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hey thanks... i am feeling alot better more upbeat, i came back to christ and well i think God is really what i need right now. But thanks for your comment and i hope to keep writting. Also i wanted to tell you about a project called "Execl Awards" its for people who live in Indiana i don't know if you do or don't but i just wanted to tell you about. There is prize money and also college schoalorship money involed. So yea there are alot of different cag. but i thought i would just tel you about it. Thanks again. I hope to see more from you as well. I love to come onto this site and to read something you wrote, its like what you said, a lot of the times your work makes me sit back and just think aobut me and my life and i just am awed! i love it! don't ever stop!~kelsey

  • your angers a gift
    December 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow...this was a really...REALLY strong poem...I know the feeling...and your description was amazing!...I'm sorry you feel this way right now...I hope you feel better soon...because you are an amazing writer and person...great write!...and keep writing...please...