I am a flame
burning on a candle, I stay strong and bright
trying not to dim to light the way
feeling like I am the only way that people have to escape.
God Blessed the broken road that lead me to you
I don't understand how a blessing can be such a curse
I am angry with myself for that lack of words that breaks my heart
I know what I want to say, but you have me speechless
I can say what my heart feels but its not my place
When the lips that kiss you make me uncomfortable
For the promise behind the ring you wear binds you to him
You regret your past and love a part of it all at the same time
I wish I could take it all away in incuding the part you love
Your love for it causes you pain now
I cant reach your pain just feel it
when you look into the eyes of the life created
it should have been yours is the thought that invades your body
I would have been there through thick and thin
I still can be
Just not close enough for me
Someone else shall hold me to light your way
I will be as close as possible to catch you when you fall
For you fear your future
your past confronts you and your present is clueless
Perhaps your future can be told
The water of your tears will only make my flame stronger
I was almost burnt out before you were here
You reminded me that what I don't understand, doesn't matter
Cry on my shoulder
The way you looked at me and the way you dance with me
Shows me that if life wasn't the way it is
It would be the way we wanted it
It gives me hope
My hurt doesn't come from love
But the need to love and holding back of it
My friendship is everlasting and complete
I am content with it and cherish what I don't understand about it
I know I am not the only one holding back
My pain when I look at you
Comes from the pain I feel from you
She says I don't know
I just don't know
If this is really living
Or if I am truly dieing
She walks into her room
as the night goes on
and as I listen to her
I can hear her crying
She cries
Where have you gone
Feels like you left me all alone
So alone
there's a lot to remember she says
But silence still remains
She says I cant feel anything unless I scream
I can taste tears and I can feel pain
they all taste the same
She cries where have you gone
feels like you left me all alone
but I know you haven't gone
I just feel so far from home
So alone
Let this be the risen you
I jump out I'm so confused
She cries
And hear I am with empty hands
There's nothing I can do
but look into her eyes and say she'll be alright
she says i know what its like to be dead
The questions asked the problems solve
What right is right and wrong is wrong
but the colors running the brushes blend
the grey is forming its falling on my hands
she says
she says I know what its like to be dead
she says
She says I don't know, I just don't know
I treasure you, just don't ever stop talking to me
Show me your heart
For the wax runs low and soon the light may be
but just a faint smoke
filling your lungs
Author notes
Forever.... James
Written November 20th, 2005
A contest entry
- Poetry by IdTakeABulletForYou.
600 points, ended January 11, 2006, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *~(~*(*~A N Y T H I N G !!!~*)~*)~* PW'S allowed! YOUR BEST/ YOUR FAVORITE !!!! CONTEST! SOMETHING I"M GONNA LIKE! by xxlisajazminexx.
500 points, ended September 26, 2007, 25 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "I Would've Loved You Anyway" by Regretlove.
425 points, ended October 9, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~*~*~*~Hope And Faith~*~*~*~ by SabaSophiya.
700 points, ended October 6, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lovely Eternities Are For FairyTale Princesses.♥ by WishMeAway--x.
750 points, ended October 12, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite me! ~~ One day only ~~ 500 points to Gold, will be judged tomorrow. by Naridill.
625 points, ended September 28, 2007, 145 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - curved perspective. prose and true poetry. by unraveled.
600 points, ended September 30, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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This piece is a very detailed and attentive exploration of feelings of friendship that hides a hidden or unspoken love.
Very intricate with good use of repetition.
Good write and congrats on silver.
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This is extremely sensitive and heart-touching, delicate and heart-felt!! Thanks for your entry, and all the best for the contest!!!
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BEAUTIFUL!
THIS WAS AMAZING AND IS MOST DEFINATELY GOING INTO MY FINALIST LIST.... HAD TEARS IN MY EYES .....
I CAN FEEL WHAT YOUR FEELING WITH THIS WRITE!
VERY VIVID AND HEART TUGGING PIECE
YOU LEFT ME SPEACHLESS.... -
i am her
It's ME Foreverlord. I love this, but it makes my heart hurt. You are my friend, and I love you dearly. I don't know what to say really. I told you that it's okay to lust, and i do. I still do............ -
good
i think in some ways i am too young to understand some parts of this poem. i can understand loss, and confusion, and some love, but a differnt type of love. i feel the flow of this poem is not so good on paper, but might be better if i heard it out loud. i know it is somtimes difficult to get it from you head to paper the right way.i love the emotion that comes through in this poem and i could feel the confusion, frustration and the ....will to do whats best for the one you love? i enjoyed it. A good read. -
Ah how passion can be so brutal at times, but desire is greater.. The only thing I saw wrong hon was a word mistake.. Dieing should be dying. Other than that I really enjoyed it because I have been that woman.
I met my now husband when I was married to someone else. So there is faith and hope for you too!
Take Care,
Whisper -
i liked this poem....its full of emotion...the best poems always are.
~samantha -
I really liked this poem, it was great! Friendship can be complicated when one is of the opposite sex, and the other person is married. You did a great job on this it's cool. Well, whatever happens it's still nice to love someone isn't it? After all it's better to love, rather than not love at all.
~Amber Marie -
A lot of deep emotions speak in this write ( I did get somewhat confused in a few parts) as it seemed to jump back and forth just a bit...and then I guess it was also the length of it . It is no doubt a good write , and I am sure that upon a second read a lot more will sink in for me. My brain is just on a bit of overload this evening ( therefore a write with this much depth left me unable to do it justice with my critique) Nothing personal at all...on the contrary...it is strictly me right now
Reenie
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LOVEWILLWINTHROUGH
The heart has so much depth and your write reflects that ..There is so much turmoil in the sea of emotion and love can be like a hurricane destroyting and renewing everywhere it travels ..we yearn for it but sometimes we confuse it with our own egos and then destructive forces set in ..Your poem has much insight and a good read for those who travel loves troubled pathway -
Thnx for the comment K.... This is acctually the first comment from the poem I have replied to. No I am not part of a slam team. I do not know if there are any in midland to be hinest but I think that I would look into it if I knew the right people. I do not write often but when I do, the emotion is there. this is one of my new favorites as well as tomorrow doesnt exsist. you may wanna check that out. Imma add ya to ma favs to so I can keep in touch and check up on ya stuff... thnx again
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Wonderful
This is such a wonderful poem. It took me a little bit to completely understant the theme, but once I got into it, I was hooked. A great use of imagery to portray the emotion.
Keep up the great work!
LD -
Wow. By chance do you participate in slam/spoken word? If not, I think you should definitely consider finding a venue where you can vocalizer this piece in front of a crowd or audience, because I think this poem has a alot of emotional intesity that potentially could bring a house down. I myself am a former member of a slam team, and perform most of my poems on a somewhat weekly basis. Please feel free to read any/all of my p posted on this site, as I fully intend on returnine favor and further browse contents of your own catalogue on allpoetry.-Curtis Meyer
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excellent
This was excellent. It expressed so much emotion and you did it in a very upfront way.......Awesome write....Lynda
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you were able to portray your confussion and frustration very well, i thought it didnt have to be quite so rambling, but it is effective, and unrequited love is one of the worst pains there is, interesting and emotional, well done
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really good
This is really good....I love the last part especially and the imagery of the candle. Excellent work!
~Rachel
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i liked it but it was a little hard to follow. however the word choices were superb and there was a certain beauty in this piece that many other poems lack. great job.
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Very nice poem! Poetry is written when one has true feeling on a subject,Love, hope, faith, pain, lust, death.
I can taste tears and I can feel pain
they all taste the same
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I really like your writing, I feel like it's something I would write. i understand all your words and how you felt when you wrote this. very nice poem,G.
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A well written piece that needed expressed and you did from the depth of your soul..great imingery and poetically flowing ..I do like this post thank you for sharing Linda
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Wow! this is one long poem... i dont normaly enjoy long poems but this is so original no matter what you say! your emotions are just flooding throughout this.
What a wonderful write well done i like this alot.
Zoe. -
This peice was long but you needed it to put all the words how they were ment to be. I love this peice. I got a little confused about some of it. Its really strange i love how it flows and thanks for sharing...
Lela -
'...Show me your heart For the wax runs low and soon the light may be but just a faint smoke filling your lungs' This is a wonderful piece, Foreverlord...ripe with emotions that cannot be contained...Your talent in penning this piece is obvious & reveals much about you as a person...We are all but frail human beings, with more strength than we'll ever know until we need to know it...This is an impressive & ultimately loving piece of work...Be proud of your efforts here...Be well, Poet... Wanda
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Excellent
This was lovely and straightforward and very different ... I loved the emotions, the flow, this is a terrific poem. Dee -
beautiful...very unique, loved the emotion flow, absolutely beautiful and straight from the heart
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After reading this I know which poem i'm going to put in your comp.
This is a really good poem.
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Somebody that writes a comment like ''its a little long'' obviously has not got a widened view on what poetry is about poetry can be 2 lines or two words it could be 4 pages it doesnt matter you have excelled your self with this piece its fantastic and after reading this there is no doubt in that I will be entering in your comp just thankful I am not competeing against you!
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I disagree. I love long poetry, as long as the flow continues throughout, in which this case it did. It was filled with emotion. The style that this is written in is almost like a riddle. I love that type of poetry also. It makes you think and want to reread the whole poem again. Which I did. I still liked it as much the second time as the first. Great write.
~Jessica~ -
i really like this a lot
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it took me awhile to understand but when when i finally did i thought it was beautiful.however, i dont understand whether your losong someone or loving someone, maybe thats how it was ment to be though, i dont know, very good! havent heard from you in awhile and was very surprised to see that youve posted something new. good job!
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Had some really great lines.
You started off, and closed with really strong verses, but in the middle there your topic seemed to change, as well as I must agree with lostbutloved it became somewhat droning and long. I would like to suggest breaking it up into volumes according to their flow and their content. I feel like your readers would be able to get a lot more out of it that way. The last part even almost seems more like lyrics which I can tell you are inspired by due to several song references made in it. You might also want to attempt that. -
its a little too long
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