i want you all to know
what you've taught me
that my body isn't my own
to keep quiet
because no one listens
when you say no
i want you to know
how much you hurt me
how much you still hurt me
even if, especially if
that wasn't your intention
i want to know
what the fuck you were thinking
if you were thinking at all
why you thought it was ok
how you could be so damn selfish
but mostly
i want to know for sure
that i'm not to blame
Author notes
Written November 19th, 2005
In a list
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Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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i dont know what your comment means, but it doesnt seem complimentary, and i dont like it much. the poem is great, as is the vast majority of her poetry.
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Hey, this is good. You packed such raw emotion in these words. Your heart has been stamped on. Consider yourself hugged. Nicely done poem my friend. Very nice.
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Hmm, this was very well written on the emotional side. And so with that, the titles that come to me are:
Lessons Taught
Selfish Needs
Selfish Love
Love Raped
That's all I can think of as of now, so I hope they may help you.
Also I saw some typos in this that you may want to fix. These are only suggestions, so you may take them as you will.
First Stanza,
First Line: "i" should be "I"
Second Line: a semi-colon is needed after "me"
Third Line: Take out the word "that"
Sixth Line: insert period after "no"
Second Stanza,
First line: "i" should be "I"
Second Line: insert comma after "me"
Third Line: insert comma after "me"
Fourth Line: insert comma after "if"
Fifth Line: insert period after "intention"
Third Stanza,
First Line: "i" should be "I"
Second Line: insert period after "thinking"
Third line: capitalize "it" and add period after "all"
Fourth Line: capitalize "why" and add question mark after "ok"
Fifth Line: capitalize "how" and add question mark after "selfish"
Fourth Stanza,
First line: "but" should be "But"
Second Line: "i" should be "I"
Third Line: "i'm" should be "I'm" and a period after "blame"
As I said these are just suggestions; take them as you will.
I hope I may have helped in one way or another and if not, I'm sincerely sorry for that. Keep up the good work.
Hugs
Jess -
Hello! Read your poem and thought of a name: Who's to Blame? or maybe No Mercy. Those were the names that came to mind when I read this poem that made my nostrils fume and shoot sparks! I just want to scream out load: BASTARD! Maybe that is a name-idea as well! Well written.
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This is a great detailed flowing poem and I like the titles:
"Rape's Excuse" or
"Who's To Blame?" or
"Blame" or
"The Lesson You Taught"
was that of any help? I hope it was if not I am sorry but I did enjoy the poem. -
i can really relate to this...great poem!
byez
~Tainted
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