A Mother’s wish.
My children, dear to heart, I love so much;
to hold you near me makes the soul complete.
I see a look of love with every touch
and hold my son with pride, my lass so sweet.
My plans I have for both of you are clear:
to be the best in life at what you do,
to cherish love for ones you hold so dear
and make a life you know is right for you.
My lass, so soon you will become a wife,
to wed for love, my heartfelt wish I give.
My boy, a wife one day to share your life
to comfort you as long as both shall live.
Be young my children while you both are free;
your youth will pass too soon as you will see.
Joan Benecke Nov 19 2005
Author notes
Written November 19th, 2005
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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This is my muse for your acrostic.
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This brought tears to my eyes. I look forward to seeing my last child leave home soon and this struck a cord with me. You have painted the feelings of a mother in a striking way. Skilled meter and form, moving message. Bookmarking this one. I applaud.
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Dear Bea,
Congratulations on winning a GOLD award with this touching sonnet.
You have been an excellent and most industrious pupil and you are a teacher's joy. I am sooo proud of you and of this sonnet which is, in fact, a 'solo flight' as any input from me was minimal.
When you remove it from this contest, I invite you to add the suffix "WYLEIAN Sonnet CXIX" to the title which will make this your fifth contribution to the series.
Applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh.
Edited on Dec 17, 1:07 because ''. -
This poem is absolutely beautiful. It combines a mother's love for her children with a classic carpe diem motif. Very warming to read. I may be overreacting somewhat as my mother passed away 2 years ago but I think not. The meter and rhyme was technically flawless as well.
I also point out the rhyme of 'wife' and 'life'.. a rhyme which is often abused.. and difficult to use without sounding forced. You slipped it in seamlessly.
Edited on Dec 02, 11:23 p.m. because ''. -
oh wow what a great sonnet indeed. I loved every line. Wonderful job and good luck!
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You have grasped the sonnet like it's second nature. This is so touching. There is nothing that can compare to a mother's love. I know and so do you. We cherish our children and wish for them the best life has to offer. I am willing to let them go if the suitor is worthy, if not, they'll at least know how I feel. This is absolutely beautiful my dear Joan. Just Lovely!
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You have learned from the master...very nicely done. Beautiful angel!!
Sam
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Believe me Mayne, it isn't easy, I still have to get Hugh to edit it for me, and he has the patience of a SAINT, but he says I'm beginning to get the gist of it. I'm determined to master it. Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate it.
Love and hugs Joan
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Sonnets, arrgghh. I tried one and it stunk so I know how hard it is. I'm no expert but it read well to me.
Now the content I can comment on: It's what we all want, for our progeny to live long and happy and to hopefully keep our lineage going. And as you said, youth does indeed pass too soon...why I'm going to be an adult any day now!
Cheers to you for tackling that evilest of beasts, the Sonnet!
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This is so lovely ...and so true. Children grow up so quickly.
I enjoyed reading this very much. Blessings ~ Sue -
joan,
here is a form I can not write so well. You have done a wonderful job with. Also it is a wonderful tribute to your children.
Yvonne
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Mothers' mind!
All mothers love and bother for their children
All children gather around their father Oh!
Fathers hopes fondly that mother does them good
Mothers feel confident that the fathers are behind!
Nice poem on the mothers' concern about the happiness and upbringing of children! Glad that you are writing nice sonnets ! -
This was a beautiful collaboration...Mother's give so much - and the best gift of all is unconditional love
Flawlessly penned - bravo to you both
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Perfect Presentation
I love everything about this from the picture to text colors to the lovely sentiment and wisdom too in your endling couplet (I think it is called). A beautiful sonnet. Hugh taught you well. -
This is the true heart of a mother spoken here. It reflects my
own feelings toward my children. A lovely piece. Thank you for
sharing. Shancy. -
Thanks AJ, I miss you too!
Love Angy
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Wow Angy, what a lovely piece of art, yes I do see big progress in your style of poetry..to me this is hard form that I don't think I can master one day..you really did wonderful job and the subject was awesome..great job my dear friend
ps: I miss you, I haven't been around much
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Dear Bea,
It has been a great pleasure to help you, as it is with many of my other favourites. I was blessed with a wonderful succession of English teachers at all levels of my education and now it is my turn to help others who want to be helped.
I am SO proud of you that, from saying two months ago that you would never master iambic pentameter and telling me how even thinking of it stressed you out, you can now create a very passable sonnet, in your own style, with only minimal suggestions from myself and Sonnet Queen MargaretG. Applause.
Well done! Love and hugs, XXX Hugh.
Edited on Nov 19, 4:39 p.m. because ''. -
lovely
A beautiful write that all us mothers can relate to so well -
Thanks sweetpea, have altered the word. And thank you for your lovely comment.
Hugs Joan
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Ah well done, Joan, and a wish that have for my sons. May I suggest that "wed" instead of "marry" may smooth a metrical hiccup? This was lovely to read, you are progressing by leaps in your sonnet writing.
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Wow that is so beautiful. Your children are lucky to have such a caring mother. This was very well written. I can feel the love that you have for your kids. Thanks for sharing and keep writting.
take care,
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