Joe and Joe and Jare and Gene
With me and Andy after school.
The days and nights inside the dream
Where freedom was the only rule.
The six of us pathetic guys
Would rendezvous when stars were blue
And echo off into the skies
Our hurley-burly ballyhoo.
With shortcuts we'd invented to
Defy the lives we'd been denied
We'd use the paths to lead us through
And keep us standing side-by-side.
The summer nights of climbing trees,
No tree too short, nor tree too tall,
'Cause though I'd know I'd scrape my knees
They'd know I was the best of all.
Playing tag and hide-and-seek,
Then Marco-Polo, water-slide,
Four-square all day long, all week.
Like flowers we belonged outside.
Tracking mismeandered slopes
On Susquehanna bay
Sharing whispers of our hopes
Before they'd slip away
Just like the faces and the trust
That sparkled like six little moons.
They're now just wrinkles in the dust
Replaying once-familiar tunes
Like "Jack-Be-Nimble", "Oxen-Free"
And "Eeny-Meeny-Miny-Mo".
It's all now coming back to me.
Oh where, oh where did living go?
Author notes
A nostalgic little poem about the old Marshland crew, with still so much left unrevisited...
Written November 19th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- The passion that eludes us....this one is for the grown ups. by ElijahsRaven.
300 points, ended July 6, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Now that is what I am talking about
This is a poem of sheer delight. I am beside myself with joy that this entry met the requirments when so many others didnt care to bother and had to be removed. You are definitely a finalist my friend and I truly enjoyed your work. There is not one definitive line that stands above the other. A rare poem indeed, and I am not one to give senseless praise. Bravo.
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Saw your trippy name, had to click. Glad I did. Good stuff. Wish I
could write as clearly about normal life as you do. I read a book one time where this living mosaic was crying sideways tears, It was great. Your poem has me thinking about childhood, wild and free. Can't wait to read your philosophy stuff. I'd be honored if you checked out my stuff. Later on. Rock the Casbah. -
I really enjoyed this piece. I love the picture in the beginning as well. If only all of our adult lives could emmulate our childhoods...carefree and fun! Nicely done...
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At first I was glad that you wrote something about the night, because I love it more than the day! The title also was quite a curiosity-upper...never thought you'd compare moons to 6 guys...That's a very surprising comparison that you explaied so well using the verses in here...I was saddened by the ending... "Oh where did living go?" Liked it.
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Your voice is longing for the freedom that the narrator once felt. As the writer, it seems odd that for one so young could grasp the meaning of life passing oh so well. I ownder how the older generation at allpoetry will view this, you have absolutely captured the innocent of children, with the experience of an adult coming through as well. This poem just flowed peacefully with your words, and made me feel as though you yourself was the narrator. Great Write!!!
*GameGodess -
I guess living grew up, and adult games are different than childish games - more serious and deadly, some of them. Nice to dream and remember those freer and less stressful times. Enjoyed reading this poem.
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Tweaked, but not embossed.
(thanks)
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—That's my favorite line too actually. At first I almost changed it because I thought people would think, "But flowers are so pretty to bring inside"... and then I thought about it again and decided that as far as the metaphor goes, being cut up and stuck in a vase for people to look at is exactly what we were all trying to escape by being ourselves away from the shackles of conformity that our "inside lives" had ordained for us. There's too much purity in the essense of a real wildflower to ever really reanimate in something manufactured by technology. The freedom we tasted as children was delicious; temporary, but delicious nonetheless.
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tweak this stanza:
The stars would call a rendezvous
And the six of us pathetic guys,
With our hurley-burly ballyhoo,
Would echo off into the skies
interesting write nonetheless -
Great Sentiment
This reminded me of the movie Stand By Me. How close you are as children to your pals. Before stupid things get in the way. When just fishing becomes an adventure...drinking pepsi outside the store on your way to a long bike ride. This captivated me and left me reminiscant. It was VERY well written and metaphors were used beautifully. My favorite portion of this was:
Like flowers we belonged outside
That is a very clever verse.
Nice work here! -
You never ceice to amaze me with every new piece you write. I love it. This reminds me so much of my childhood, which now doesn't seem that far gone. I especially like,
"The summer nights of climbing trees—
No tree too short, nor tree too tall
'Cause though I'd know I'd scrape my knees
They'd know I was the best of all."
So full of childish wonderment.
Sara -
A very nice write. I really enjoyed it. It means so much. Oh, how I wish I could go back to those days. Go back to the good ol' days when clothes didn't match, and boys had cooties.
It's all now coming back to me.
Oh where, oh where did living go?
-Moose: OUT -
I like it. at first I wanted to read it cause the name had a 6 in it. I didnt know if it would be any good though. but i think you did a good job. I love it. ^__^
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awesome write
hey wow i love the imagery and the flow in this.. your words are playful but serious as well.. thank you for sharing your words with me. -
very good!
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'...Tracking the meandered slopes On the Susquehanna river bay Sharing whispers of our hopes Before they'd slip and fall away...' Yes, Life is far more brief than any of us know...If you ask a 100 year old, they'll say it was gone in a whisper, in the blink of an eye...This is an amazingly nostalgic penning, filled with the wonders of beauty & the beauties of wonder...& a great reverence for Life...an intricate telling, refined in your descriptive techniques...Your use of language is impressive & not overdone...Your emotions are delicately~woven fibers within a sacred tapestry of truth~telling...A thoroughly enjoyable read...Be well, Poet... 
Wanda
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wow this is a really great piece.its a perfect fun childhood that most kids have.great write.
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nice length. i like th pic. goo dpoem. and interseting topic. you are clearly very talented. well done. keep on writine
happynes happyness to you
jess
sorry about this. im kinda crazy tonight i apologise for myself
jess -
gorgeous
This has successfully made me nostalgic for my own childhood. However, this poem is so much more than nostalgia. The final line says it all- where did living go? Those were the important moments and people.
Absolutely amazing! -
intersting write. its hard to think about those we have left behind, not forgotten, just not thought about much. those are the memories that have the most power to make one smile when down. later Honeybe
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