Daily Routine (Revision Two)
Five-Thirty A.M. the alarm shrieks
he breaks into wakefulness stumbles
and hunchbacks his way to the shower
half heartedly blinking away sleep.
Leaning against the shower wall
the heated droplets waterfall
down, slipping and hugging to his body
painting him soft red
The Sun rises
He eats his Bran breakfast
looking hopefully
though knowing there would be no sausages.
Not since the last health craze his wife had gone on
no matter he’d just ride it out, they usually didn’t last long
Still wiping sleep from his eyes
he irons his clothes, listens to the radio Stock Market
and prepares for work
dropping the pre-prepared lunch
made by his wife into the bin
and grabbing ten dollars
Then like every day before
he sits down beside his bed
just before he leaves to put his shoes on
and stares down at his feet for thirty minutes
trying to build up the nerve to wear odd socks to work
Author notes
Written November 17th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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getting up for some
was a modern poem , a fun read, a morning unique , that poor
guy staring at his shoes , and for 30 minutes ,,,with two
different socks , great imagination, needs some works for prose, but then you put a collage poem here, as a painting. -
great job
lol this was great . and i totally can understand the humdrum of day to day life.. man you can do it wear those unmatched socks.. hehehe good write . i enjoyed it. -
oooh. very good. i like it alot. clever. you are talented. lot of love
jesss
jess
oh i just repeated my self i must be getting old. 14 isnt that old is it??
Edited on Nov 19, 5:06 p.m. because ''. -
i'll admit i was bored, but i wasn't turned away, so i read the whole thing, and was very glad i did, because of the ending line:
and stares down at his feet for thirty minutes
trying to build up the nerve to wear odd socks to work
the simple word-choice mixed with clever wording is very effective in this piece, good write -
I like the climax here, and the rest of the poem leads up to it nicely. You capture pretty nicely the weekly routine of Joe Everyman. The only critiques I have are to describe the sounds of the people and things around him more. What does his wife have to say? Are there any kids - and if so, what is their take on life? But even without that, this is pretty good.
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GREAT
GREAT poem/story! Good descriptions throughtout the whole poem. Flowed very well. Enjoyable to read---it had it all! Excellent job. Keep it up -
There's a great story being told here. The parts about him "hunchbacking" his way to the shower and "no sausage" gave this poem a very real sense to it. Keep up the good work.
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lol. . .i'm glad i don't have those troubles *rolls eyes*
good poem though, no this was great, i thought. wonderful descriptions and all that stuff. good job! 
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I Love the immages... hunchback to the shower...how many of us have done this in the past? Not being a morning person AT ALL I can fully identify. Thanks for a good write!
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Enjoyable. Sounds just like me getting ready for work, except I never have time for breakfast. I propose that we declare an annual Odd Sock Day, when everybody who is secretly pissed off with work can subtly declare it to each other by wearing odd socks. Then all the odd sock wearers can go and get drunk after work.
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Well done. It is true for so many people. Mornings are the same for most everyone. Not true of a truly morning person though.
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Great images here - well done. The last line was really unexpected, but I like it. The character reminds me a little of my father - and I like the bit about the wife and her health crazes. It's interesting to read. Well done
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