please dismiss the shred of self dignity
she rests on her shoulder
upon the rising of a second sun
and donating life, similar to most states
and even at three a.m. she'll be confused
confused until the nine minute song sadly ends
and then she must march out the [back] door
close to the driveway
past the woods and whispers
tents and alcohol
and she'll leave
Secondly hearing the news
in three triumphant beats per minute
she'll weep
unlike the soft winter's first snow
she'll leak rivers towards the spoken assault
provoked by a past
in an echo quite like a future
moments of gold are adopted
when sifting through the ash from a White candle
is retrospect better
a new idea not viewed lightly
or behind the layer of harsh cloth
hiding a murky and lumpy understatement
yes
please grant her tranquility
Author notes
Written November 17th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Can one ever leave their old life behind? I guess we can interpret this as we want, but some of it open to a wide variety of interpretation. I was a bit confused at times too.
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Some notes:
1. Elusive, evocative melange of images
2. A moment of separation and rebirth
3. Perhaps some hint of the way the past foreshadows the future and, therefore, of a cyclic, seasonal view of the world.
4. Supported by the images of the natural world echoing the human one.
5. Set in a physical landscape that must stand for a mental environment.
6. Only one capital letter. -
This poem is vague, but I think that's what makes it so great. It's vague and open to intrepretation. It's vague and abstract. It's vague and full of imagery and life. "Vague" doesn't have to be a dirty word.
I love this poem for all the reasons that I stated above. It's wonderful and universal and if it wasn't so late, I would have a grand time attempting an interpretation.
Excellent write.
xoxo
~Danni -
I'm afraid I had real trouble following this one. I hate to keep using the word "vague" so, why don't we just say that this one was a bit amorphous to me? I'm not trying to be rude here, but I didn't see where you were going, and the lack of punctuation marks didn't help me, either. Sorry!
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very tranquil and flowing...never skipped a beat in meaning--good job!~jag~
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Great job.. has alot of emotion and displays her leaving her life behind. You describe the life she's leaving behind and showing how she leaves it. She leaves the life of alcohol, and spoken assault.. Great job.. Loved it . Keep it up
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What is said is well
Where is the edge of need and the begining of obsession? Hanging on the words of others does leave one hanging, nonetheless.
Interesting view, just hanging there.
Until you go blind from the boredom.
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