Whilst walking in the desert
One day I felt a depressing sense
Of depression overtake my fevered,
Syphilitic brain.
The sphinx was desperate for it
(and number twos).
But I did not know that
Until I heard a mighty pyramidical
Fart which rent the heavens like
God's finger up a virgin's arsehole.
Would that minxy sphinx
Drop one now (or later)?
Bugger me, a mighty Egyptian plop
Flattened me.
Oh, Jesus, it was fucking horrorshow.
The desert's hot sand was the sphinx's lav bowl.
And so was I, as I grovelled in circumcision.
But thanks to the power of civilisation
And advertising,
I was able to cleanse both ends with an Andrex anal wipe
Which left me in a ripe condition
For genital exploration by any passing strangers.
So if you EVER find yourself wondering lonely as a cloud
Beneath an ill sphinx' ass, watch out, baby
Or you'll turn into a serious lump of shit
And then you can compete with Jesus Christ.
A contest entry
- the best you can do! (for our none acomplished writers) by honey bear.
550 points, ended March 4, 2007, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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thank you for entering, i am putting this in the finalist list as it is plain to me that you need help in more ways than one
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Zorro is honoured with a dishonourable mention!
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I'm not really sure this has anything to do with my contest but I suppose it's possible that I am completely missing the mark.. please review the rules and let me know why you think this piece fits. Thanks.
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You know this is bollocks, I know this is bollocks, everyone know this is bollocks. But at least it's creative bollocks.
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Yay, weird references to current culture and events! It's nice to see bad taste poetry keep up with the times and be educational.
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I quote the classic on this topic:
The sexual life of the camel
Is stranger than anyone thinks
For at night this promiscuous mammal
Secretly buggers the sphinx.
Now the sphinx's posterior depression
Is filled with the sands of the Nile
Which accounts for the camel's expression
And the sphinx's inscrutable smile.
Edited on Oct 11, 3:12 p.m. because ''. -
well, it isn't cardboard themed or really about anything collectable so I struggle to find anything to say about it. may i suggest you take up collecting? it is only when we have something to collect that we become whole.
on the whole I cannot believe any of this, the sphinx is really a nice geesa -
maybe it wasn't working..................
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ha - i would like to say i have a device in my head for comedy poetry, it wasn't beeping here
spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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Giggling...that is so gross...but funny. I almost feel guilty for liking it. Write on, poet.
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Haha funny...really amusing context. Good Luck in the contest!
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It's puerility which makes the world go round. I have removed the poem from your silly contest as you have no sense of humour.
Edited on Sep 01, 1:18 p.m. because ''. -
I dunno I didnt laugh at the poetry... but the last comment was funy
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Zorro, I'm sorry my comment didn't meet your "high standards", but it was supposed
to mean:" It was good." But now for the rudeness i received from you....consider yourself in last place. Duh. -
To "stonedhenge" - you get a gold prize for clever comments. Duh. Congrats on your new name, Calvin. It's no better.
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nice
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funny
funny -
LoL, thats awesome dude, good luck!
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Than you for your entry
Art
Adding your comment:
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