the heady scent of orchids
saturating the air.
You’re next to me
-- my hand enveloped by yours --
soothing my racing heart.
Flower petals
litter the ground
dripped upon the sacred path
Your eyes
are washed with passion
echoing mine
Your words
linger -- surrounding us
shimmering in starry night
I’m suspended in the brief silence
your breath a whisper away
flowers fade
As your lips claim mine
and I never hear him say
You may kiss the bride
Patricia Gibson-Williams
November 16, 2005
Author notes
Joe and I on our wedding day... Nothing went as we planned. Joe was in pain from a botched back surgery, that ended up with an infection; my best friend and I had a fight; the cater was late and we had to set everything up; and the wedding started almost 2 hours late and the caterer and her employees were rude... But during the ceremony, all the problems faded and it was just me and Joe until; for that one moment everything was clear and perfect. I'm not sure this is finished, I just wrote it after reading your contest rules, and I haven't had time to decide if it need work. Patti
Written November 16th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- A Single Moment by bellerophon.
500 points, ended November 23, 2005, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Very romantic and simple. The grace of the poem is its strongest asset. I wished you had added some exciting imagery or interesting metaphors though. Just spiced it up in some way. Thanks for entering.
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So romantic! Very good poem. I would say yes it is complete
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this is such a sweet poem, I think you did a great job. Good luck in the contest!
Irilis -
Seeker, now this really captures a single moment in time. very well done. The feeling is so real as if the reader is alos supended in the moment, just as this bride was. I think the background was also a good choise as it represented the purity of that moment. nice write
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Nice poem about this very important day. Words are nice choosen and very interesting free style of poetry.
Sometimes, the things are not going as they are expected, but your verses are perfect, and your weding day was a great bliss in your life, and as you sad, everything was perfect. Good luck in your life and in this contest.
~Sonja~ -
made me think
the prebuild stress - and the things never go to plan
glad the smoke cleared just intime for you to see...




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