your presence paints the
mansion of my living room
in dreams of kisses
cat curled in red bowl
feet propped warm in the sunrise
solar heat rising
up all night at dawn
waking to fragrant singing
distractions of you
waylaid introspect
vibrancy of gift spirit
my life love is yours
your smile is sunbeam
of moonlit menagerie
welcoming me home
Author notes
Written November 15th, 2005
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Woot! It is fixed. Thanks again for making mention of it. Could have been years before I noticed
. I think it even sounds better now.
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Arg. Darn numbers . I will have to fix that. Thanks for pointing it out. It has been a long time since I missed a syllable count, so I was due a slip up
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vibrancy is three syllables [vi bran cy] making the second to last stanza, second line; eight syllables.
Other than that one little offset, your poem is melodic, it sings to me. I am smitten by "moonlit menagerie". Such a pretty Choka you've written here. Almost perfect in form.
Thank you so much for the time you took to enter this challenge. I wish you the very best in all your aspirations.
Much Love,
Renee
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This looks like the winner to me! Such tactile and comforting images! It's beautifully done, Thistle. Good, good luck!
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What wonderful and warm images this gives! Such a loving tribute to a very lucky someone! I wish you the best in this contest! Karen
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