I am a decade an era,
the speaking remnants
in every action
The process of time
stripped of components
left to the background
Surrounded by life's canvas
Individuals boast
In half shame
Sighing my name
The right of passage
into red nosed glory
Of future conquests
of secret mistakes,
Left hiding behind
miracle maturity
or redemption
I am contradiction,
Varied are my
popularity peaks
My place is on stage
in Gods movie house,
All spliced together
with no out takes,
One continuous loop
of half mistakes
Film consumed the shadows
in all backyards and spaces,
defining me yet again
Background lost definition,
as I have been named anomalous
again
Groping for detail,
people find less of me
since they have slipped
into where I had once begun.
Author notes
One of lifes' common factors is decadence. Since Dionysus/Bacchus is the father of decadence, I wanted Dionysus to tell of his cycle.
Written November 13th, 2005
A contest entry
- Circular Impressions (contest) by burning house.
500 points, ended November 30, 2005, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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very well done
i personally am obsessed with the philsophical and artistic implications/manifestations of the god. i must say however that our interpretations of him are rather different. i ring more to the neitzschean expression of his madness and also to the aspects of ariadne.
but i must say you did capture his classical sense very well and very concisely, it also had a definitive tint of melancholia. well done
-jesi
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Yvon:
I was one of the co-judges of the contest in which this work was entered last month. Although a post was made on the contest page explaining the circumstances, I nonetheless wanted to return to the work to apologize for not heretofore having left a critique/comment. I had wanted to when I originally read this, but like all others in the contest was prevented due to extraordinary work issues.
Having said that, and taking the "better late than never" approach, let me now say that I thought this was one of the most original thematic uses of the vision of the circle for the contest. I personally have always loved Euripedes Bacchae, so the image of Dionysius as metaphorical circle fascinated me, given his mythological position as not merely the god of wine and revelry, but also of the theater. He is sort of the "unbalanced" and fascinatingly contradictory circle of circles. Indeed, you capture those elements in your poem, referring to both roles and the "contradictions" they entail. There is a whole to Bacchus/Dionysius, though, in that virtually all of the elements that comprise his ethos -- good and bad -- ultimately focus on celebration. And indeed, that is what a poem is, celebratory. So you have captured not merely the image of Dionysus, but his spirit. And that is a worthy accomplishment.
Anyway, once again please accept my apologies for the belated comment. It is my normal practice to comment on all works in contests that I hold or judge, and while there may have been circumstances that delayed my doing so here, I still very much wanted to do so. Thank you again for participating in our effort and sharing your insight. -
What an interesting idea, to set a classical god in the present and try to imagine his thoughts. (Hey, I do this with my grandmother...wonder how on earth she, whose childhood was marked by the first "horseless carriages", would have coped.)
Thank you for this entry. I enjoyed it.
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All intended
Give it a second and a third read. You'll be surprised what the tenses and other levels do for you.
Thanks for your comment and reading. -
There are a couple of minor punctuation issues in this one for me.
In the first line, I'd like to see a comma between "a decade, an era" perhaps a dash at the end of the line instead of the comma. Stanza 4 "red-nosed"; stanza 6 "Gods" needs an apostrophe.
Also in the first stanza, second line the sord "speaking" seems out of place to me, my mind wants to read "spoken". I'm also not quite sure I completely follow the capitalization at the beginnings of lines.
Those minor things aside, you have presented an interesting take on the circular theme. It's obvious some thought went into this piece.
Thanks for your entry. -
Hm, nice stanza and good vocabulary, but I'm going to be honest. I didn't really understand what you were talking about. Don't mind me, lately people have been using different stanzas and crazy words that I just don't get. So it's probably my stupidity.
Atleast you didn't use the lines "ashtray, blue, highway" and "flying to the land of cotton" like one guy. I think he might have been doped up when he wrote it. :-/ -
Teehee.. What a nice intelligent poem... It reqires some thought and knowledge to digest
But it is great...
Here, I applaud it!!
Sincerely,
Chadrick L. Lough -
I thought this was well written.
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I like that you chose a mythical god for this piece. You have several good ideas here. This piece could use some tightening but is definitely worth a read over.
Thanks for entering the contest.
Mary -
This is an interesting take on the Dionysus myth ... very well done
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Very interesting poetry! I have always liked this God and his journey! Good luck in the contest!
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I wrote this piece based on personal reflections of what the god of wine and revelry would say of himself in the present century. There was no literal quote or source used. Though, if you read almost any Greek Tragedy you'll find Dionysus as a central role between chorus and the actors. Nietzsche's Birth of Tragedy kind of reads like the Rolling Stones "Sympathy for the Devil," in that Nietzsche seems to say that without the chaos or spontaneous quality of Dionysus, we wouldn't have Greek Tragedy; instead we would have Aristotelian frameworks lacking conflict:0
P.S. If you think about it, the basis of good poetry is the balance between stability and chaos. The tension is what draws us in. That's why I like good ole Di
Thanks for reading
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I am not well up on the Dionysus myth myself, so I went browsing..
(((perhaps you could provide a link to the reference you used??
)))
I enjoyed the piece and was intrigued at how you brought it all together to form this piece
well done..
thanks for entering
~GILL~x -
I am not good with Mythology, so I had to look Dionysus up to remind myself who he was. Once I did, the poem made a lot more sense to me! Such an interesting approach to this contest of circular impressions. Very unique!
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Yossarian:
Since you're familiar with Dionysian myth, my periodic placement of "I am", "my" and "me" fit the egocentric desperation of Dionysus. Look more closely and you'll see how he laments as he boasts and can never quite claim anything as his own. The only pride he maintains is his ephemeral quality existing in the hindsight of humans. Oh, and Dionysus is quite distracting by nature
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I must say, I quite like that fourth stanza. Maybe play around with what lines would start with "of" though...that was a tad distracting. Interesting use of the Dionysus myth. I would have had more debauchery (so to speak) but this has a kind of subtlety. My only suggestion would be to los some of the "me"s and "I"s. Pronouns can be easily wasted.
Cheers,
Yossarian -
Very nice. Applaud!
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Dionysus, the one who feels pain as man does. This angle you give is more than enveloping. I do not know if all comparisons were meant to be so direct, but it always fascinated me that the Greeks understood him with such realism--allowing us at our very best and very worst.
Thank you for mentioning prose to me. You are so unbelievably right. I never thought of it before. -
Very interesting, with a surreality that is striking. I loved this poem, it is compelling, alluring, and draws you in to consume you with the imagery. Bravo!
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I had to check this out. My daughter just did a class project on Dionysus. This is well written, you have done a good job of showing the 'cycle' of decadence. Well done.
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Dionysus explains his cycle well, and if you have penned these words for him, you are a good writer/poet. Interesting read.
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