To each and
Every painstakingly
Completed night,
There is a morning,
Hovering 'round the horizon,
Near dispelling
The blue blackness.
Indigenously worthwhile
Beckoning of life.
Congratulatory greetings
Assuming melon cosmic forces.
Laying waste
To the dim-lit.
Dawn rises
Against a backdrop of
Well layered
Nostalgia
To seek
Its own hope.
Author notes
the first 6 prime numbers 
Written November 12th, 2005
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No problem Prik, I just wanted to make sure I hadnt done something I didnt know about
. I been reading some of your stuff that I thought was pretty darn good lately
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i was in a very bad mood and sombody pretty severely critisized my poem for its grammar and spelling and because im dyslexic i took it personally and flipped im sorry to that particular person for my overeraction and realise he was only doing what a critic is supposed to do, but as buddists believe from everything even adversity you gain , and id like to thank that guy from bottom of my heart for the inspiration he gave me for a poem i wrote this morning
allpoetry.com/Poem/1644326
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sorry thistle i was talking to someone else i made a mistake and somehow ended up leaving comment here, i do apologise
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Lol, Just goes to show ya that we just don't always have the same frame of reference when reading anothers work or when presenting our own. I actually thought of intrinsic, but it reminded me too much of those TV shows with all the coroners reports and things, probably from its defintion in relation to anatomy.
Edited on Nov 20, 8:50 because 'I can't spell without coffee'. -
Sorry, Thistle, Prik is mad at me.
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Hi, prik, thanks for commenting on my poem, but I am a little confused. Were you directing your comment to me, or the previous commenter on this particular poem. I looked to see if I had commented poorly on any of your works and I can't find where I did, but if it is me you were addressing, I certainly apoligize if I have ever come off demeaning, in any manner. I also feel deeply for your loss of someone so dear to you.
While I would always point out spelling mistakes if I noticed them, I would hope that I would do it in a way that was not insulting to another person. We all have the capacity to typo, so I would never be speaking down to anyone as a result of mispelling.
At any rate, if I am the one who offended you, I apologize. If not, I think I will come take a look at your stuff since you took the time to look at mine
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Thank you, Thistle...given your definitions, I completely understand what you were saying. I might have chosen "intrinsic" instead of "indigenous," but it's just splitting hairs. "Melon cosmic" makes sense to me now.
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First, thank you for your comments. They are certainly helpful in seeing how people outside my own head view the picture I paint. While this piece is somewhat a personification of dawn, the new day, and the hope it holds, things like morning have been described as often as things like love, so I generally try to look at it from a different point of view so as not to allow it to become mundane or cliche. The priviledge of waking to view the sunrise is a powerful experience deserving of more than yellow orange hues and achy bones.
A few definitions may be in order to clarify what I was saying. First, Indigenous, does not always apply simply to plant life. In fact, plant life is rarely mentioned in most of its definitions.
in·dig·e·nous Pronunciation Key (n-dj-ns)
adj.
1. Originating and living or occurring naturally in an area or environment.
2. Intrinsic; innate.
Thus an
Indigenously worthwhile
Beckoning of life.
Would denote a naturally occuring worthwhilenes in the morning's calling us to life.
The reference to melon is a crayola crayon color. See this link for the definition, though the picture shown does not do the color justice. It happened to be one of the horizon colors in a moment of a recently viewed sunrise from my apartment window.
www.crayola.com/colorcensus/history/action_index.cfm
cos·mic
adjective
Definitions:
1. of whole universe: relating to the whole universe
2. astronomy of universe apart from Earth: describes outer space or a part of the universe other than the Earth
3. enormous: very great in size or significance
With these definitions in mind, and in context with the implied sentence--implied by the period-- I am expressing a personification of morning congratulating us on living to see another day. The word melon simply adds color.
Congratulatory greetings
Assuming melon cosmic forces.
Again, thank you for the comments, they are appreciated. I doubt that I will change any of the words themselves, as they do say exactly what I wanted to say, but perhaps a change in puctuation or line breaks would have made a difference? What do you think? -
prententious rubbish, you are obviously not a natural poet.
but you are very well trained in your sophistry.
Keep writing your pseudo intellectual gobbledeegook to impress teenage girls, you may actaully make it some day, but you can count me out as one of your fans.
and by the way i wrote time abouit my wife who has since dies of cancer! and you tearing it a[part because of its punctuation and spelling was like a kick in the guts
Edited on Nov 20, 5:26 because ''. -
First, thank you for entering. I like the mood the first 5 lines weave...but after that, I'm afraid I'm left a little flat. In the 8th line..."indigenously worthwhile?" Indigenous...like indigenous plant life? Then again in line 11..."melon cosmic forces?" Do you mean "melancholy" forces? I have no idea what melon cosmic is.
Overall, I like this flows, I like the first 5 lines and the last 6 lines, but there is a lot here that I just can't get behind.
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