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I Admire Them More. (tanka)









though my home
is a haven for wild birds
I watch the swallows
knowing they will leave
I admire them more















Andrew Hide
12~11~2005

Author notes


Written November 12th, 2005

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1 - 8 of 8
  • whisper lake
    November 19, 2005
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    Wow. What does one say when one comes upon a piece like this?
    Wow, the swallow has the courage. I will have to think upon this.


  • Sai Babas Lotus
    November 13, 2005
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    Beautiful !

    Oh so beautiful! Truly, I love the Shimonku plenty in this tanka. It gives me the feeling that those here in India who love me so much, are giving me the maximum love possible during this last week of my stay here...and then I will be sorely missed. Truly, this works for me and the admiration I recieve from my larger family, viz., Mom's sisters, etc. The pivot or bridge or Kakekotoba or L3 here has beautifully blended the upper part of this tanka (Kaminoku) and the lower part of this tanka (Shimonoku). You have a most beautiful background to this. Being an avid bird lover, this one sets me in the mood to go feed them now(something I do everyday no matter how busy). I have been researching on how to converse with crows this morning from my book on DIVINATION and I logged on to find this sweet tanka Very worthy write! Truly a cherishing refreshing piece!

    More power to your poetic pen,
    Charishma


  • DougMcCue
    November 13, 2005
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    beautiful

  • wordlover silver member
    November 12, 2005
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    excellent observation

    I'll trade you all my crows for just a few of your swallows! They are so loud and eat all the dogfood... Really good: reminds me to wonder where all the birds go when it's raining. When something is always right at hand, we never learn how important it is to us. It flies away and a part of us is empty - it returns and we are made whole again. Stu


  • Emerald13
    November 12, 2005
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    lovely .... ... >>> GINA


  • MagicLady silver member
    November 12, 2005
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    Any poem about birds gets my attention. I liked your pivot line.
    I am a big bird fan and I feed all kinds of birds in my yard.
    Very good tanka.

    Cheryl


  • Kitesen
    November 12, 2005
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    This is Mariza's motto. But isn't the saying like in Dutch fish and guests stay three days fresh. I like the way you putted this in a poetic tanka. It is much more well spoken. Don't we all like the freedom men need even the most dearest can be a block esspecialy tho those who like to be creativ.

    Edited on Nov 12, 1:49 p.m. because ''.

  • orange sherbet
    November 12, 2005
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    very good

    haiku is tres difficille mon amis well done its very good and strongly poetic

1 - 8 of 8