pieces of you came right from me
others I don't recognize at all
I see your big blue eyes
(we both gave you those)
aching
confused
longing
for what
I wish I knew
daddy went away
when you were barely one
he wasn't all bad
just not ready for the responsibility
of you
don't blame yourself
it is NOT your fault
you are a good child
we all love you
even if we don't understand you
but how could we?
Our daddies were all with us
when we were one
One day
you will find the pieces
you think are missing
within yourself
and you will no longer
act up
or out
and you will realize that life
is full of fragments that
don't seem to make any sense
but when you put them all
together
they ARE
just the thing
to comprise the piece
you have been looking for
longing for
and you will laugh out loud
as you discern
that you were
whole
the
whole
time.
Author notes
if you are a mommy and have ever had a horrible time with a small child, this might make some sense to you....if not, please forgive!!!
Written November 10th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Well..I do have 3 small children all under the age of 10, so I do understand this poem and its meaning. I know how difficult it is to be in this place.
I think you have been very expressive and the word choices has made this a very strong and emotional writing.
I think my favorite part is this...
One day
you will find the pieces
you think are missing
within yourself
and you will no longer
act up
or out
and you will realize that life
is full of fragments that
don't seem to make any sense
Broken relationships...one's which end or just go in the cycles of incompletion....all can bring about this sort of incompletion in one's heart, mind and life. I grew up with a very broken family, though my parents never did divorce. There was abuse and various other conditions which made me feel this way. I sort of got caught in the same cycle myself in my relationships and I know my oldest suffers still to this day because of that.
Very good write. I am glad I come over and read this one. I will be reading you often I hope.
LIZ -
The worst kind of pain is watching your children hurt, knowing they have to experience the anguish and confusion simply because its part of the process, part of life. It doesn't help when unavoidable and complicating factors add to that, as described above. I like to see kids express anger, its healthy, its human, as opposed to internalising the unpleasant experiences and withdrawing. When kids are at their most "horrible", thats when they need you most.
Sonia X -
oh, this piece is "too light" for my computer, would like to read it thogh.
I'm sure it's good. -
McKenzie
This is an awesome write
I hope things get better for your little one
Hugs and Love
Karen
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I have missed you Mac ... where have you been?
I see by this beautiful write you have not lost your touch when it comes to putting so much meaning into your poems.
Having raised my own children and now having a hand in raising theirs I can relate to this so well.
Wonderfully said Mac.
Sammy -
Wow this is intense! I have a 13 yr old that I am going through this with. I never stopped to think that maybe she's acting out because her dad has never been around. Thanks for giving me another way to look at her.
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I love this poem... its amazing and... my love can relate... its perfect... very nicely written... I love the way you wrote, "you were whole the whole time" that was awesome... and so true if you think of it...
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You hit the painful nail right on the head with your comments, which I appreciate. It has been a tough evening.
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incredible
Wow. This poem is very deep and moving. I really thought that this was an incredible piece of work. I know the feeling of being sad after my parents have a fight. But I don't know how great the sadness would be if one of my parents had abandoned me. But now I know what it is. I liked how you went from sad to happy. I liked how you portrayed that all the missing pieces put together was that one piece you were searching for your whole life. I really thought that this poem was incredibly good. Well written. Good job and good luck in the contest! Keep it up! -
hmmm.... interesting. Almost prose like, in its style. And yet... I do like the flow of it. The language is simplistic in style, but I think you were going for a 'child-like' impression, or voice, weren't you? So, if so, then I guess you did well, because that's exactly what I thought of. And your message rang true, I think we all go through that. The 'missing pieces'. Not necessarily from the lack of a father, but anything that we missed, that we feel we needed. Or so, is what I took from this.
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The picture is a good one. My commnent, having nothing to do w/ the poem, is that my professional experience finds the conclusion generally untrue- which is very sad.
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thank you for the applause.
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wow, I'm young, but I have seen in friends, and in my own life, what family situations can do. I think that this is a wonderful poem, written to go out to the hearts of teens like me who are just trying to start to put together the peices with maturity...I think that this is a great poem...kudos thanks for sharing.
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Well Expressed!
From just reading this, I think I understand what you're saying, not that I know how you feel, but believe I get this..All the best to you and your little one, and I hope together you find those missing pieces..Pen on sweet soul, good to read you once again my friend, been awhile.
-Timothy The Poetic Weaver
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