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My War

War,
 My war;
 inside me.
 Get in the trench,
 bombs explode!
 Oh, the craters they leave,
 scaring my heart forever.
 the shackles on my remaining limbs
 cut into my skin,
 making it raw.
 the chains hold me there
 behind enemy lines.
 in that dark stuffy
 wet
 dungeon,
 I'm a prisoner of war

 Who is the captor that I hate?  
 I want to kill her
 she has caused this pain
 Who has locked me here?
 she should sit in this place

 the hatred that I reach towards her
 cannot compare to the hatred
 that I leave to reach in me.

 I have raged war against my body, my soul
 my mind.  

 I have battle scars that are faint.

 no one can see them but me,
 but they're there...

Author notes

This was inspired by Lavander Shadow's muse #5, and the song Hero by Superchick.
Written November 10th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Justplainwaynethen gold member
    January 27, 2006
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    Interesting take on lavender's war muse- the war within oneself... it does remind us that there is war on many levels!


  • la vie boheme
    November 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    you can applaud four works a day without loseing points...


  • la vie boheme
    November 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you. I don't see myself as a good writer, ironically, I've kept my writing hidden up until last week...


  • cherrypi418
    November 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is wonderful! I never read this sort of poem... Its so good! I loved your use of words. I love the part where you said Oh, the craters they leave,
    scaring my heart forever.
    the shackles on my remaining limbs
    cut into my skin,
    making it raw.

    I hope yo ucontinue writing for a very very very long time. You are one of the really good poets I know so far. Your poems are awesome, too. Keep it up, I hope to read more from you soon!

  • Jacob H
    November 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    good

    i reread this a couple of times and now that im fully awake it makes sence and its awesome the layout is awesome as well applause worthy


  • Classified Memories
    November 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    The punctuation was a bit off but otherwise it was a very enjoyable piece.


  • Sapphire gold member
    November 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful write here princess, we all wage our own private little wars and fight our own private little battles. Battle scars can be carried deep within a person and the only time they are seen by others is when we choose to reveal them. External scars fade with time but are never completely gone, but the internal ones are the ones we carry as reminders for the rest of our lives. They never fade, the only difference is they can not be clearly seen.
    The wording and lay out of this poem are excellent and tell the poem more vividly, wonderful work

    Sapphire


  • McKenzie
    November 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very very insightful and well written. Pick yup right now and forgive yourself for any harm you may have caused yourself with any war or battle scars. You are the only you you will ever have, and you are a precious soul, made in the image of God and a lovely lovely girl. Your spirit rings thru in this loud and clear, and you need to always nurture it and it clear.Blessings hon.


  • la vie boheme
    November 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    thank you I really like your columns, not all of them will produce a great poem for me, but this one helped.


  • lavender shadows
    November 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Really good job on this write! You've taken this piece exactly where I was hoping someone would... drawing similarities between say "regular" war, and a war within ourselves. Your imagery at the beginning of the poem really emphasized this. Wonderful job!

    ~lavender shadows~

1 - 10 of 10