Yep, I知 done. I知 not going to let people fuck with me anymore. I知 tired of being hurt and insulted and abused every single day. I hate closing my eyes and wishing the world would go away. What I hate most of all is being afraid and not feeling safe. Not one minute do I feel safe, except those happy moments of just me and my friends. I hate how people make me nervous and the things that come out of my head. Constantly thinking of how thing could go wrong and my self or someone I care about dies or gets hurt. One time it was real bad and I imagined him beating me and kicking me until died and she was just standing there not helping or caring. Betrayal . The things I imagine to get back at those thoughts are just as terrible. I hate not sleeping at night because I知 forcing my self not to move because if I do the first thing I値l reach for is anything I can use to cut my self with.. I知 never ok because no matte where I am or how much fun I知 having , eventually I値l have to go home. At least when I知 at school when I try it痴 good enough, when I work hard I知 rewarded. A place where I am me and that痴 all anyone expects.
From now on I知 going to be in control of my life instead of having it dictated to me by other peoples assumptions and my own fear and paranoia.
Author notes
prose and poetry. I don't care. It's how it came out when I started writing.
Written November 10th, 2005
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Comments
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POCKY IS THY GOD!
GAH! I need to read peoples pages more often *crash tackles/ bear hugs* Ignore the jerks and bitches crossed plenty of them myself OR if you can't ignore them simply speak your mind to that yell and scream and insult them and tell them what fuckwits they are, that helped me sometimes espicaly with the bitchs they tend to shut there mouths the second you call them fat.
*MORE HUGS* -
......You know what pisses me off? Your like one of the nicest people I've ever met and life treats you like shit, and it makes me mad. Bah. Well only one more year or so and you can just move out,We all love you! It'll be ok eventually.
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Sounds like you're fed up with the way things are going and want to take control - an admirable thing to do. Should've done it a long time ago, woman!!!! But damn it, you do that. I'm proud of the resolve you show here.
A couple grammatical errors to point out:
"beating me and kicking me until died" Something's not right here, I think you're missing an "I" before died.
Second is matter. You left out the r.
Other than that, that's it. One criticism I'll give, is that, despite your obvious ability to display emotion in your writing, and it may be just because this was so spur of the moment that you didn't give much thought to it, but I think you could probably expand your vocabulary - when you right, I'd try expirementing with a few new words or something. Not trying to sound condescending or anything - I constantly find myself humbled by the vocabular expertise displayed on this site, I just honestly think it would be a little more interesting to throw out some less common words here and there for the reader. I understand your writing is for you, but it's also for an audience!
*Hugs and stuff*
Ha!
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