On wisps of wingless butterflies,
spiraling to the planet target.
The angels hide their eyes,
with twisted halos.
Fallen is the one, so free-
on excitements flight.
Epinephrine eulogy dripping,
waving to clouds and passers by.
Solace maintained like a grain,
passing through the needles eye.
Angels again ascend,
as the fallen is freed.
Author notes
Free Fallin'
Written November 10th, 2005
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Petty would be proud - I was so happy to see you enter! This piece is fabulous written, your word formations, the emotion and the very essence of the piece feels spiritual...kind of like I am soaring with the angels and then dropping down to reality - I love it!
Fabulous write (of course!!) -
Great write ... that's free fallin' alright
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Great!
Nice poem and very creative. I enjoyed reading it! Keep up the great work and good luck with the contest ^_~. God Bless...
~*Dazzle*~ -
Good
"On wisps of wingless butterflies,
spiraling to the planet target.
The angels hide their eyes,
with twisted halos."
that was a good way to enter into the poem. ive never heard he song this is about i believe, but i relly got a sense of it. good job!! good luck!!
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Well written
I was seeing the fallen angel idea, when suddenly 10m from impact I saw your comment "free fallin'" and a whole life had to flash before my eyes of recreation.
I like both, and the blend is ..err.. good!
But whats this I find myself still free falling, I am lost without a hold - "the fallen" that apperently can't be saved has been freed in the last line.
I've got to pull the chord. -
I like it. Nice and short, said alot in just a few words. I love the line:
"The angels hide their eyes,
with twisted halos."
Very creative -
Kudos! Brilliant... truly captivating!!
This is truly an inspirational piece... the oasis is filled... parched I came ... now my thirst is quenched... Magnificent flow... Memorable each stanza... "Solace maintained like a grain,
passing through the needles eye.
Angels again ascend,
as the fallen is freed." Brava!! Two thumbs up!! Wishing you and yours much success in all of your endeavors! -
thimply thuperb
i agree with above, excellent line! i have read many about angels and this one...i would say is near the top 5! i like the descriptions, creates a brilliant image. good reference to butterflies but, although it is a good line, 'Epinephrine eulogy dripping' doesnt exactly fit. i can see how it is a very good line but set in that context, to me it gives a sense of it being misplaced. i hope you dont take my criticism personally, otherwise its a top class poem! lets hope it wins!
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Very nicely done. I think it holds a strong message of loosing ourselves of heavy burdens and past sins...at least that is how I like to see it. Best wishes in the contest.
Sam
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Great images throughout this write. Do not really know any Tom Petty songs, but I liked how you have written this -a good conclusion to it all.
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'On wisps of wingless butterflies, spiraling to the planet target. The angels hide their eyes, with twisted halos...'
Wow...what a great opening to a fabulous take on a song, Muddy...this is wonderful, my Friend...incredible imagery, great verbiage, pure flow...it's a winner in my book...Good luck in the contest, Richard...
♥ Wanderer
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Well put indeed. Being a Tom Petty fan I had no choice but to like this lol, but it also flowed together well from beginning to end. Kudos and write on - Steven
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Wonderful poem, not really my style of poetry but excellent job... your a good poet
-butterfly -
This is really fantastic. A great write from you. I love what you have done here with using a Tom Petty song. Nicely done and nice flow. Thanks so much for sharing it, I love your talent!!!!!!!!!
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it was inspired by Tom Petty's song Free Fallin'
but you are correct...this is a poem of a fallen one, that can't be saved..thus the angels hide their eyes upon impact...thanks for the kind comment
Peace Muddy
Edited on Nov 10, 8:40 because ''. -
in your author's box you said 'free falling' do you mean the song, or does that just help people understand the poem a littke more? cause i thought that the poem was more or less about satian(SP?) a.k.a. the fallen angel! please tell if i'm right, or the answer to my first qustion...so far this is the best write in the Featured spot! i appluad you!
pen on,
~Casey Tew~
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pretty good
somewhat impressed just not really my style but stiil good though -
I like this one alot more than the last one I read of yours. This one is well expressed and paints a clear picture of what you are trying to get across. well done!
huggles
~Lena~
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