Rusted are the memories,
lying in my mind's attic.
Musked in cobwebs,
diluted as the ink fades.
A self portrait of fears,
and tears locked in cells.
Life sentenced, for rust
never sleeps.
Author notes
and then I saw a picture in the attic, from Lyrical Soul
Written November 9th, 2005
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1 - 13 of 13
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Very nice job Muddy. You had one of the harder "moments in time" to work with and you did an excellent job of turning it into something meaningful. I could see my own rusted memories in the deep corners of my own mind while reading this. Cleverly written. Thanks for the entry and good luck.
~Lyrical
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Such a nostalgic piece, more poetry than formal prose, but I loved the way you took your line, and made it yours.
The imagery here is absolutely stunning, I felt the cobwebs brushing my face as I read.
Thank you for entering our contest!
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Lovely piece of prose, Muddy. You did a wonderful job with the line, made it nostalgic, melancholic, bittersweet....days of yesteryear put away in the attic. I loved the line "rust never sleeps" - great work!
~ Nicolette
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Wonderful little piece here, Muddy. Bittersweet indeed, as our mind captures a memory.
peace
doug -
This was....bittersweet. Fabulous.
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Lyrical is a dear friend Mal, we hit on the same wavelength from time to time...as far as inspiration goes...lol...best wishes in the contest and with your clappy things..lol
Peace Muddy -
Muddy...I told you please dont enter no more contest I enter....now this is getting to be to much....five comments and five clappies......lol
your killing me....dude....wonderful thoughts spread on this sheet....although...rust never sleeps it eventually dies.....for this is no fuel left once it has consumed its attachements..as always....im impressed at your imaginations put to pen....
Im not applauding this...you have to many already
Ill smack myself so you at least hear the applause..
Mally
Edited on Nov 10, 7:17 because ''. -
wonderful penning with this one muddy,
I can imagine this as I read it..
and entering an attic and seeing life through the mirror
with some memories rusted,
well done
Tears -
You dug deep here (or climbed high) into the attic to come up with this wondrful piece of prose. Best wishes in this contest,
Reenie
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I really like the idea of memories being things that can rust. It brings up such wonderful imagery. Great metaphor you have here too. I just have one suggestion. Maybe change the verb "musked" as that tends to relate more to scents. It's a wonderful poem though! Thank you for sharing!
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A great poam,very deep and a lot of us can relate too.Thank-you for sharing this poam with us,keep up the good work.
Be well and so shal it be -
excellent writing
I like this very much. Your memories, your minds attic, that is very ingenious. Tears and fears locked in cells. I relate to that one. The life sentence and the rust, wow, you have a really deep thinking mind there Muddy.
etherealforu
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'...Musked in cobwebs, diluted as the ink fades...'Wonderful prose piece, Muddy...Most of us can identify with this one, I believe...Good luck in the contest, Scribe...
Wanderer
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