Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

While We Sleep

Diamonds
cluster
night
skies

Gold
moon
beams
stream

trapeze
rope
balance
Angels

Wings
spread
guard
souls

cohabitants
watch
beauty's
show

indigenousness
flares
explosion's
languor

lighting
velvet
canvas
painting

brush's
impulsiveness
sprinkling
colors

stars
collision
flames
illuminance

atmosphere
quilts
wave
encompassment

eternities
requisition
justice
signified

Space
aerials
galactic
parade

slumbers
silence
night's
vision


















Author notes

I will be back to rework this. This is a lot harder than it seems.

Written November 9th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • YerTweetyness
    November 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, you did it!!! I think you've nailed it!! *Bravo*
    Ok, I'm tired of reading now... LOL!

    I applaud this one too! Like Yippee Yi Yay!!

    Yertweetyness Tweet Tweet


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    November 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully done. Who would have thought such vivid imagery could come from a string of nouns


  • qnhoneybee
    November 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You were correct and actually trapezed was not even a word lol! I am always trying to make up my own language. So, I changed it to trapeze and painted to painting. I found a few others that did not show up as nouns in my dictionary as well. So I changed those also and reworked the poem a little bit.


  • Samplette gold member
    November 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Not sure what the contest calls for..but this is really a great write. Will have to check it out to get the full understanding. Best wishes in the contest.
    Sam


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    November 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    trapezed, painted

    I know you are still working on it, but these were the 2 words that I couldn't find a noun definition for. While I could agree that putting the in front of either of them would definately denote noun usage. If you can find a definition that lists either of these words as noun, then copy and paste it into a comment here. If not, you might consider changing --trapezed to trapeze and painted to paint or painter. Very nice imagery. Gives us a picture to think on.

    I will stop by again later to see what changes you make . Very well done though.

1 - 5 of 5