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A Pure Person

She waited in the rain
nobody came

Digging for treasure
is no pleasure
when you are alone
She began -- Groan

The spade in the dirt
This was work
How deep was it buried
She had not tarried
in digging for gold
as she had been told

This girl is retarded
This cruel trick started
by classmates with no shame
who now have her digging in the rain

Who can explain how she
maintains her pure trust in the
wake of this kind of treatment

giggles escape
from behind a tree

This rape of innocent love and trust
ends mercifully though unjustly
The devils come out
Say not to pout
It was just a joke
not meant to provoke

If lightning would strike
would that it might
punish those kids
with severe fright

This sweet girl lay down her spade
She just cried there in the shade
under the dark clouds above
All she knew to do was love


Ellis

Author notes

This girl was my sister

For Contest: Invited by Shahrzad Maftooh / Options: 2c,e
Written November 8th, 2005

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1 - 43 of 43

  • Peripatetic gold member
    November 26
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    Many of us have known others who must perceive the world through senses and comprehension which function on a level that may be misunderstood or even frightening to others. In some societies such individuals are considered special children of God and are treated with deference for the rare perspective God has given them. In others, where fear, greed, envy and striving for power over and protection from others are the cultural norms learned by the young in their socialization, special persons are often victimized by the popular majority of cravens.

    The poem is touching as we consider these events from the young girl's perspective of love and trust betrayed for no reason she can possibly comprehend. The poem angers us that there are folks, albeit youngsters in this case, who are all too ready to take advantage of the vulnerabilities of others for no reason except to be accepted by the members of their own savage pack. The poem is shaming for anyone who reads and recalls a time when he or she (or I) may have behaved shamefully as if to advance in position among peers by demeaning the position of another.

    The poem is shared with a simple, poetic grace with full and half rhyme or none at all for some lines. There is no attempt at regular meter, but there is a pace that varies with and enhances the telling of the story.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    August 2

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    As a child I was a subject of bullying by my peers, so your poem I can relate to. You have written a wonderful piece about your sister that does her proud. Children can be very cruel toward people they don't or can't understand. You have used imagery to good effect here and although a sad piece I found it a pleasure to read.

    All the best to you.

    Sue
    x


  • HeavensDaughter
    January 14

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    What a powerfully sad story. People can be so cruel. You have written well and honored your sister in this poem. I was very touched by your writing.


  • smonte19124 gold member
    December 21, 2008

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    I see the beauty in the sadness of your words, the skillful use of imagery and I applaud you for sharing what was most certainly as painful to you as your sister. She probably forgave them because yes as your title states she has purity of heart. I can only say that ignorant children should know better but are often not taught any better. For I was once an ignorant child too and if that was my sister I’m ashamed to say I would have beaten their collective @&&’s. Wondeful write deserving of a prize. God Bless, Jo-Ann


  • kareneisenlord gold member
    December 2, 2008

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    How sad!

    Kids can be so cruel sometimes. This is a lovely poem yet tragic poem about what your sister experienced. Trust betrayed. It must have really hurt. I hope those kids felt bad about how sad they made her. Thank you for sharing.


  • alco
    November 26, 2008

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    This is beautiful. Sad, but one of the finest pieces of poetry I've ever read. Also, a wonderful tribute to your love of your sister. You are truly talented.
    ~Monica


  • Mariana gold member
    November 17, 2008

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    This poem made me weep with sadness at the cruel trick played on your sister. I do believe what goes around ...comes around. They will have to answer for their cruelty. You have written a heart rending poem here...even the more poignant because it actually happened. I hope your sister is OK now. Well done
    Mariana


  • Nicada silver member
    November 15, 2008

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    This really tears at my heart to realize the pain inflicted upon your dear, innocent sister. Kids can sometimes be so cruel, especially to anyone who seems "different." I truly believe that compassion and empathy are learned first at home, and many children are not getting it there. The ending is very touching, "All she knew to do was love" So sweet and innocent she was,and so tortured for it. How very sad. Thanks for sharing this and spreading awareness of how much this hurts. Blessings, Patty


  • tawk gold member
    November 14, 2008

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    What a heartfelt poem about your sister. I used to teach disabled high school students with varying disabilities we actually had them interacting with their fellow students in classroom settings and various areas throughout the school it seemed to help the students get to know each other and respect each other for the person inside not the disability. I was so proud to be part of this and I miss my students so much. Thanks for sharing this wonderful write with us all. The world needs to quit being so cruel to others it makes me so angry when people make fun of others. Have a blessed night hugs Theresa

  • Kristina87
    January 3, 2008

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    This poem is so sad. I've seen this happen too many times and it always aches how the people having fun never try to picture what it is in the other's heart and how deep they can affect them. Being sweet and pure often turns just as a signal of being vulnerable and thus treated with no fear or remorse. If only children could realise their cruelty.

    You pictured this strongly and the simple rhyming made this very raw and true.


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    January 1, 2008

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    This is a great poem and it is so sad to hear of things like this. There are so many cruel people out there who think its all just a joke. Well done for writing this.


  • Pisces Pieces
    December 27, 2007

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    It makes me angry, so many people endure this kind of treatment as entertainment to other small minded idiots. I truly hope they get what's coming to them sometime or another.

    It should be harder to be a bad person, but it seems like it's harder to be good and loving. Sad.


  • Rakerman1
    December 27, 2007

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    You have expressed your rage at this disgusting deed eloquently Sir.
    Emotionally written
    Very well done
    Raker

  • mimiagatha
    December 27, 2007

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    rape - is the right word to use in this context, even if it is just mental rape. your point is sharp and cutting, you say it with the right level of emphasis and partial detachment to make it stick, even though you are emotionally committed. that’s the correct way to express and expose such events. well done, my friend.


  • Anna Emkah
    December 26, 2007

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    This is so sad.... I could kill those guys who did this to your sister. To betray ones trust is the worst thing that can happen to you. It's not only bad for the moment, but it has a certain impact on you for later as well. It might stay with you for life.
    A sad, but great poem. Very well done.
    Anna.


  • catz Moderators member
    December 24, 2007

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    I think most of us have seen this happen either with a classmate, sibling or other person. And perhaps have even been a part of the cruelness. The unmerciful teasing, the practical jokes. Sometimes they realize the hurt, sometimes they take it as 'fun' for the other person. Children are especially cruel but I think most of those eventually grow out of it and would take back the hurt and embarrassement if they could.

    Your poem is so expressive of the feelings of your sister and what she must have gone through growing up.

    A very meaningful write, Ellis



    : Dee


  • Norman Crabtree
    December 24, 2007

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    when i first started reading this i was thinking, 'oh boy' this rhyme is a bit on the obvious... but i as i kept reading i thought, wow, the sort of 'immature' meter and words you use really heightens the intensity of the actual subject. It really bluntens the whole poem and makes it so much more raw, intense & real!

    my favourite bit in there was giggles escape
    from behind a tree

    it just sort of cut the poem in two. revealing innocence in the middle like a beating heart of a dead tree...


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    December 24, 2007

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    Wow this is so very sad.
    I am so sorry for youe sister,
    No one should have to go through such
    hurt and pain.
    What a heartbreaking piece.

    Loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Joyce


  • thewriterwithin
    December 23, 2007

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    This is so sad, so heartbreaking. The cruelty of this world really wears me down sometimes. I am so sorry for the pain your sister felt, no one should have to go through such a horrible thing.

    My blessings to you and her.

    You really have the talent to portray saddness well. I have goosebumps all over my arms. What a sad, sad poem.

    Jasmine


  • maa gold member
    December 21, 2007

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    a very touching poem that saddened my heart ...
    sending a lot of love and healing energy your sister's way ... thank you for being her voice ...


    maa


  • myrataal silver member
    December 20, 2007

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    Ah dearest Poet ...

    how cruel this world if in the hands of human beings so brilliantly shrewd.

    How God in his justice will punish those who hurt the innocent and those of purity! I cried when I read this. And: it was not only tears for her, your sweet, loving sister, but for the souls of those who wounded her in her trust.

    Joy to you, precious One, especially during this time of Eternal Gold, the Gift of Life.

    Thank you for being a loyal friend and a wondrous poet of depth.

    Love
    Myra

  • ecrivain01
    December 14, 2007

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    That's too bad ...

    there was a case in Missouri recently where a few people decided to invent a boy to flirt with a girl who was rather chubby and not very popular. Then they had the boy tell her he didn't want anything to do with her. She killed herself. People who do that kind of thing should be punished severely, at least that's my opinion.


  • jamiedoring
    December 13, 2007

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    Wow....heart-strings pulled in all kinds of directions.....so touching and sad....but beautifully written. EXCELLENT write.


  • Glenda L Hand
    May 11, 2006
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    Oh Ellis, it was all I could do to read this. It made me so angry and so hurt for your sister. It reminds me of a Christian song that goes something like this, "the girls teasing laughter carried farther then they thought" Why do they have to do this to the innocent.


  • MargaretG
    April 5, 2006
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    This could be applied to all spiteful humour Ellis, played on people who can't or won't defend themselves. I think the tricksters are punished enough in living without compassion - blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.


  • Lyndon gold member
    April 4, 2006
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    I have completed my judging. I am allowing two people to make a slight alteration if they care to do so. Ron


  • Lyndon gold member
    April 4, 2006
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    Ros's sentiments are mine as well. It is noble of you to give voice to this kind of abuse in verse. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 31, 2006
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    WOW!!!! now i really want to cry. people are so very cruel. i know first hand what the spitefulness and pure meanness do to someone. it has been so prevelant for people like your sister and makes me very angry at people who do this. you wrote this very well. viyanna r langager


  • Gwenevere
    March 25, 2006
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    Children can be so cruel.They do not realise the lasting damage they can do.Special needs children can be such a gift.We should never forget that.Thankyou for a thought provoking write, Ros

  • semperfichic
    March 1, 2006
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    isn't society and youth so wonderful gotta love humanity sometimes, i swear, this was just sad to hear....it's something that happens and a sad story that should be shared, keep writing
    ~Raven


  • neverontime
    February 11, 2006
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    I do love this. Kids can be so very cruel, especially to ones who are special. I have found in my experience as a nurse, these disabled children are of God's most sacred kind. They are the most loving, innocent children ever known. Thank you for sharing this. God Bless this child, and others who are like her. Susan


  • Ms Raneika
    February 10, 2006
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    interesting...very descriptive...when I read that this poem was about your sister...it's that something...because I read it in a sense that you was just speaking of a make believe stranger...thanks for entering my contest much love from Miss. Raneika


  • Image and Visions silver member
    January 5, 2006
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    Ellis, good read, interesting and was actually more indepth then what I thought it would when starting to read it. It was actually a good picture you painted, only told from a different angle. image and Visions


  • Antipodi
    January 5, 2006
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    THEBEAUTYOFADAISY

    How can I say anything other than this brings tears to my eyes ..I remember so many times at school..there was always a so called retarded person and everybody used to pick on them ..no one attempted to befriend them ..and many times those people were beautiful friendly and extremly brave comming out into an unfriendly world to learn with all the barriers they had ..much more than our measly teenage angst..we should all reach out and enjoy the company of these wondeful loving people..On thing I will say ..you can trust these kids more than the ones you see teasing them..It might pay to think... what do they say about you when you are not there..I really think this poem is excellent and hopefully will be read by and understood by some of the morons who hassel these beautiful loving people...
    Edited on Jan 05, 7:39 because ''.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    January 5, 2006
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    It is just very touchy and very painful work through and through. The expression stated in the words too are very truely bringing the deepness of this write in terms of the agony shown here in this work .The flow of the write is very impressive and very slick too. The impact of the write is just great ..prabhudayal khattar


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    January 5, 2006
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    This one is just awesome! Sad, poignant, and sooo emotional! Very very well done! I loved this one! It shows much heart and soul!


  • rosepoet
    January 5, 2006
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    Very sad touching poem. You penned it well with nice flow. In life there are up and down you just have to try to forget and pray and move on in faith.Trust in te lord at all times.
    Edited on Jan 05, 6:46 because ''.


  • cherche -d -ame
    January 5, 2006
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    This is so sad no matter who the victim of such cruelty would be But I can only imagine how hard it is for you to think back , and those memories must be haunting ones for this girl was your flesh and blood (your sister) I consider myself a good person that tries not to harbor any feelings of ill....but I must say that when it comes to such cruelty ( even if it is from children) <-----I guess I blame the parents for not instilling kindness in them ,...but anyway , there is a part of me that always hopes that these bullies will get their just dues ( maybe one day they will be the underdog)I am assuming that this took place awhile ago.....and I wish you and your sister healing,
    z
    reenie


  • give2get
    January 5, 2006
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    Nice read...about bullies and victims is my hunch

  • SimplySakina
    November 15, 2005
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    it always and contantly suprises me how humans are, no matter how badly we can be trreated if uor heart are goog their good, even to those who treat us like dirt we still manage to give them unconditional love
    this is what this poem highlights to me, it means much more tahn i can say, i hope your sister appreciates it

  • Capital
    November 10, 2005
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    last stanza steals it, amazing story and so well written about!


  • Alucards Wish
    November 9, 2005
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    7

    Wow, this is touching... it saddly reminds me of things I've seen happen to people in this world... it's sick how cruel some people can be and how nice/loving their victims are.. I think you did a wonderful job on it, it's really good.


  • Rainydaywoman
    November 9, 2005
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    Wow

    Wow, Ellis. I dont even really know what to say on this one. This is a very moving piece filled with so many emotions- I was stuck to the screen to see what was next. I loved it- Harper

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