In this tomb of blood and guts,
half buried by a sanguine tide;
porous, shell shocked, all alone,
once protection I’d provide.
My buddy gone, God knows where,
my battered sole seeks escort,
my vascular tongue falling limp,
draped over my heel for support.
In bloodsoaked trough mortally lies
sinuous grasses, levelled and flat.
Lifeless bodies, cold, anaemic
young soldiers, wasted in combat.
Lying here, in this bloodbath,
a stinking foul hero’s grave,
I am just an old worn boot
Lost by some warrior brave.
Author notes
I chose option 1
Today I re read your rules.
A contest entry
- And What Were You Thinking? by Dragon Tamer.
500 points, ended November 16, 2005, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My 2nd contest- Objects and Inspiration by Gypsy-at-Heart.
1000 points, ended February 9, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just a few twisted options *new option + unlimited entries*... by AutumnsFlame.
450 points, ended August 2, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Thankyou for awarding me silver, it is most appreciated. Val
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Wow... THANK YOU FOR READING THE RULES, first of all....
Secondly, I thought your poem was pretty darn cool. Wonderful use of vocabulary. I thought this was very creative. And it really describes what war can be like. Good job and good luck in my contest! -
Thankyou for awarding me with silver in this fine contest, it was most enjoyable. Val
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First of all thank you for entering my contest. I really enjoyed reading this entry. I spent the first 3 stanza's enjoying your use of language as it holds a great suspence. I spent my time trying to guess which item you were writing as, and you provide clues right up to revealing in the final 2 lines.
Your choice of words is incredibly strong and powerful. Your choices in 'blood and guts', 'shell-shocked', 'battered', 'bloodsoaked' and other dramatic words brings back the memories of the horrific details, pictures and scenes that we've all seen from war. Your continual references to death also added to this deep heartache. This contrasted well with the simplistic nature of the item you're writing as. In reality a boot isn't seen as something incredibly important in battle, as compared to say a weapon or helmet, but you really helped us to see the relevance of this view.
Excellent write. Well done -
nice twist at the end , an enjoyable write with good imagery.
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wow this is powerful! Great write
the rhythem made it eaqsy to read, the rhyming worked realy well and it is structured very well! this is amazing keep it up luv ya 
and 
x x x x x x x
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This is very meaningful. It is a true write. It is crude and vial, just like war. This is a great piece. Shancy.
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Very cool!I loved the twist at the end...I enjoyed the read.Thank you for the laugh on a serious subject, and for entering.
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the very first line sets the scene and emotion of this poem Elfin...from that point on you work the imagery of this poem to a fine point. a point that doesn't point to any particular battle, any particular war...but all witnessed by the "old worn boots" that have tred there. the closing stanza war ironic...as tp even contemplate which side is this warrior brave, you know?
Jo
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I think the poetry is too forced but I did like the twist at the end,god luck in the contest
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Elin, what I liked most about this write was that is was so ambiguous, I guess that was your meaning to let the reader decide the particulars about it? There was a lot metaphoirical useage and the concept of the boot telling in first person, was interesting, not sure I've ever hear of a boot personication before. interesting write. image an Visions
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this is great. it puts a lot of images in my mind. the descriptions were amazing. i loved the fact that it is from the perspective of a soldiers boot. this really made me think. great job. i really enjoyed it.
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great personification. The story is actually magnified by the fact that the narrator of the piece is actually a boot once worn by a dead soldier. The grammar doesn't appear to have any errors in it, the prose isn't bad, so..... yeah, i really enjoyed this poem. Keep writing!
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Well it is really a great combination of the words making it an expression to describe the thoughts of the inside through and through. The structure is very strongly proving the entry's requirements. The flow of the write is very slick too. Pleasantness is the essence of the write too.
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